Misdiagnosis and Living with LADA with Mila Clarke

[00:00:00] Rob Howe: Hello, welcome back to another episode of Diabetics Doing Things. We are telling the amazing stories of people with diabetes from all over the world. And she's back for the return interview. She's been a guest on More Than a Diabetic. We did an episode one-on-one with her in 2020. You know her as the hangry woman. She, if you commented sideways on her post, she's coming right back at you. It's Mila Clarke. Welcome back to the show. I'm back and I'm so happy to be back. it's good to see you it's also like the texas connection is heavy in here like you know the on the houston side you know there's a lot of beef between houston and dallas we're putting that all aside yet again for another great interview yeah yeah you know i think i'm so

[00:00:44] Eritrea: shady i'm like she's back and she's got a different name i do have a different name i have a different

[00:00:50] Mila Clarke: name i have a different vibe i have different hair everything's different we like an evolution

[00:00:55] Rob Howe: over here. Your diabetes is even different than the last time you were here, right?

[00:00:59] Mila Clarke: Oh my God, that's true. Yeah. So man, where do we want to start? I want to cover your diabetes because you and I talked during your sort of re-diagnosis. I don't know how you're classifying it in your life, but I definitely want to talk about that. And I also want to talk about, we've been really centering a lot of conversations around diabetes creators. And we talked about the Creator Collective last year on our end. And when I think of diabetes creators, I think of, you're one of the names that really comes to mind. And there's been a lot of changes on that side with you as well. So I want you to basically take over the pod. We're just going to sit here. We're going to chop it up with you on all these different changes. Man, where do I start? So I guess I'll start at 2020 because that's kind of the last place that we left off on. And so in 2020, drastic life changes as for everyone. So I ended up leaving my full-time job at like a really big hospital in communications to do hangry woman full-time. That also led to tension in my former marriage. So like Eritrea mentioned, I got a new last name. Well, I went back to my old last name, I guess. And so like went through the process of getting divorced, which was really, really tough and difficult and scary just in terms of first quitting my job and then realizing like, okay, well now I'm responsible for health insurance because my spouse provided health insurance. And then also just being on my own really for the first time in my life and having to rediscover everything about myself and that just feeling really scary and overwhelming. 2020 was also when I was re-diagnosed with LADA, latent autoimmune diabetes in adults. So I mean, like it was a crazy year of upheaval in that sense, but I think it also just kind of like led me to where I am today. And I'm in so much of a better place, letting go of so much of what happened in the past. And I feel like I am more myself than I have ever been. And that kind of includes the way that I'm able to manage diabetes and talk about it and help people and share. And then kind of fast forwarding a little bit in 2022, my mom passed away, she had a heart attack, and it was a complication of diabetes. And so that really shook me with a lot of anxiety because I was like, here's this person that I am directly related to that I have come from. She's no longer here. And she's like my, the person that I would like bounce things off of with diabetes management all the time. And it was just a really hard process for me to like lose her and lose her really suddenly. She was 53. So that's a young age to have a heart attack and pass away. And so dealing with that and being like the oldest child in my family. So it was really on me to plan it, to do everything, and then still having to manage my own health throughout all of that. And that was a whole ride in itself. And then after that, it kind of inspired me to switch paths a little bit. I had been thinking about going back to grad school for a really long time. I'm by trade, I'm a marketer, recipe developer. And so that's really the area that I have the best expertise. And I kept thinking that I was in a place where I just wanted to help more people live a healthier life with diabetes, but also really just enjoy their meals and what they're cooking and the process of being able to cook and eat. And it came about because I just kept thinking, you know, like I've been living with diabetes since 2016. And I still hear the comment in 2024 that people are scared of eating and that they don't feel comfortable creating their own meals or they don't trust themselves enough. And I was like, what can I do to help bridge that gap for people, help people with behavior change, and then understanding how to work these things back in. So I decided to get my health coaching certification. This summer I'm taking the board test, which is exciting. And then hopefully by 2026, if I talk to you guys again, then I'll have the RD credential behind my name. And so I will be a registered dietitian. We're speaking it into existence. And I felt like that was the best way that I could make a difference and an impact in the work that I do and still feel like At the core of all of it, I'm helping people. And I always say that's my North Star. I don't really care about all of the stuff that comes with content creation and the perks and the travel and getting free stuff. That's all great. That's all nice. But at the end of the day, if it's only for me and it doesn't help anyone else, then it's not worth it to me. So I really am so excited about that twist and turn. And that also kind of came about from a really big partnership that I had failing and me having to kind of like pivot and figure things out. And it felt like for me, that was just like the door that I needed to get kicked down to be able to have the time I needed to go down this path and do something that I'm really passionate about. I think to me, well, first of all, so much change. you know, huge life events, like losing your parent is like one of the most dramatic things that especially so suddenly. So, you know, having gone through that myself and like also being the oldest child and like all those things that come along with it, it's just another job that you didn't ask for that doesn't pay anything that requires a lot of like attention. And, and then also like the career changes. And like you said, the partnership piece, I think, and I'd love your perspective on this too, because I think in the blogger community, which, you know, outside of diabetes, I think on the recipe creation side, specifically a very close knit and also very large internet community, there is this sort of like perfect food style, like, you know, food stylist, like never showing the like process, only the finished product, like only perfection all the time, only doing well, like only positive vibes, blah, blah, blah. And I think you have done a really nice job during these changes of opening your community up to the realities of what you're going through. And, you know, I can tell it's very intentional for you. And I think, you know, Eritrea and I were like going through some of your more recent posts and like, you know, social media being a highlight reel, but also like all this very real stuff happening in the background. Like, I don't know, how have you like, how is that? How's your content creation part of yourself? Like you said, the opportunities are really cool. The community is great. But like, ultimately, you're helping people. How has that shifted? Like during all of these other changes that you're going through? Yeah, I mean, I like I think I've had to take a bigger step back than I've ever wanted to. And like, I'm always the first person to tell people fill your cup first. Like, don't pour from an empty cup, make sure that you're taken care of. And I literally would do the opposite. I would like sit on my phone answering messages that people had questions about a recipe or about diabetes or wanting to meet for health coaching or like, and I would literally burn myself out to this degree that I like didn't recognize myself. And I didn't recognize like the way that I was responding to people. I didn't recognize just like the very, I don't know, like at the core of my soul, like I'm a very like bubbly, friendly, like loves to be around people kind of person. And I just felt myself becoming more and more reclusive and more and more like, I just don't want to be out here anymore. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want anybody to ask me questions. I don't want to help. I need help. I need for everybody to just back off. And so I think I kind of tried to gently say that without scaring people away and making them feel like they weren't welcome in my community, but also at the same time, putting up that boundary and like finally saying, okay, I'm at a place where I'm of no help because I'm not in the right headspace and I need to step back so that I can get to the right headspace to actually be able to be the person that people are asking me to be or that they are like projecting onto me at some points, right? Because like a lot of times, and I think in my community over time, I've really gotten to know people on like a really deep level, like just like the DM conversations that I have with people or even with coaching clients and talking about their goals. Like we get to know each other on a pretty deep level. And I think for a while there, I was kind of like, I just want everything to stay at surface level. I don't want to like have to worry about like what's happening with someone else. I need to like figure out how to like put that outside the door so that I have my life. And then like when I feel like I'm ready, I can always come back to that. And even now it's like super intentional for me. Like I'm dating someone and I am a step mommy. Like she called me mommy and I didn't answer her because I didn't think she was talking to me. I was like, oh, you mean me. and so I think like even more now I have just found that I like I'm gonna be honest about how I'm feeling and I'm gonna put up those boundaries and I'm still gonna be helpful but even more so for like myself and my family like I I have to be in a different headspace and I have to like figure out sometimes how to say no and I feel like I've learned that more you know in the past year than I've ever known in my entire life. I want to talk about like just the awareness of like, because I think, I think this is going to tie, just bear with me here, audience. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to land the plane on this question and it's going to tie back into this narrative, but pouring from an empty cup, like the awareness of like when you are empty, like when you're like, I don't have it, whether that's like being reclusive, kind of opting out of conversations or just like kind of avoidance. I certainly go through that myself. I also, I don't know if it's just because like marketing communications kind of like, like nails this into your brain. Like I just assume everybody in my inbox deserves a response from me is like always my first reaction. Like, Oh my God, this person who I've never met and I don't know wants something from me, I better get it for them. Or like now I have anxiety about it. So like kind of learning to overcome some of those things and like getting over being chronically available. And then finding that focus of like coming back, like, why did we start to do this? It's to help people. Are we are we still doing that? Sure. But like, you know, how do we make sure that we're able to help people longer term? I think it's hard sometimes to acknowledge or it feels icky to acknowledge that you're at the end of your rope, so to speak, or that you don't have anything currently left to give. So I wanted to just give you props on like knowing that you have that awareness because it is hard. And like in one thing that we know about the content creation game is that like, if you stop creating, like the world moves on like really quickly. And there is sort of this like anxiety of like, you've got to keep feeding it the stuff or else it's never going to, never going to happen for you or whatever the case may be. And so that's where I want to fold that back into like burnout of creators, because we've seen so many creators over the years. And I know you could probably think of five to 10 right off the top of your head that You see they come on, they have a lot of energy, they got great perspective, maybe really cool, unique type of content. And then six weeks later, six months later, they stop because their cup got empty and they weren't able to refill it or there was something else going on in their life. You know, real things like divorce, like losing a family member, like losing a career, changing career paths or starting something new. Like you you are still like sharing your life with us, like through all of this. So like, I guess for you in those like quiet moments with yourself, like staying galvanized to continue to continue to produce content for the hangry woman, to launch a new app, to start a new career path. Like, how are you managing that? Well, I think I'm just a Delulu girly and I feel like I can do everything and anything. And so, you know, one of the things that my mom would always say to me, like when I would go to her with a frustration or fear that I couldn't achieve something, she would always ask me, like, think about a time in your life where you failed at something. And I would be like, well, I mean, like, you know, I didn't like place at the spelling bee or I didn't get this writing award. And she would be like, think about a major time where you just fucked up your life because you failed. And I would be like, well, you know, I don't think I have one of those. And like every time I think like, am I like I'm starting this thing? Am I crazy? The answer is yes. But then I'm also like I've never like failed at anything majorly in my life. And if I have, it's been a good lesson for me. And so I'm I just have like no fear about trying to take something new on. But I also think the other part of that is that I have finally grasped the fact that I need a team and I need people behind me. I need people who are helping. So like behind the scenes of Hangry Woman, like there is a team, like it's not just me. You know, I have a content manager who is quite amazing. She works on lots and lots of projects because like in addition to all of these things that I'm doing because I'm insane. I also own a marketing agency, which is a part of Hangry Woman. And we work with brands and clients that are looking to really share the health projects that they are doing in the Houston community and how they're improving the lives of Houstonians through social determinants of health. And so we love getting to work on those projects. There's a team that helps me manage and work through those projects. I have an amazing project manager who helps with just keeping everything in order. We love AI around here. So we use a lot of like automation tools and scheduling and calendars. We live and die by our calendars because it's like the best way that we can get things on track. And so I think like being organized, but then also realizing like I did it for so long by myself and I was really burnt out by that. And finally, I was like, I got to find a place to let things go and just like take things off my plate and not make them my responsibility and know that they're happening and check in and I have my hands and everything. But I also know like I have help. And if I need to pass something on, like, you know, I met with my one of my team members this morning and we were going through to do lists and like all the things that we have on our plate. And she was like, bro, if you need me to do something, like take it, like just take it off your list and give it to me. And I was like, no, but I don't want to overwhelm you. And she was like, no, you're overwhelmed. And so having people around that can tell you that and that aren't afraid to be honest, like you're stacking your plate with a little too much. Let me help you. Like that has been a blessing to me because I don't know how I would be able to do all of this stuff if I didn't have them like really like pulling the strings behind the scenes.

[00:17:00] Eritrea: I think it's really great that you have a team of people. I know Rob can definitely relate. He used to do this all by himself until he decided one day to enter an email from the angry black girl. And now we've got Ashley in the whole great like it's it's great to find.

[00:17:14] Rob Howe: The email wasn't angry. The person behind the email.

[00:17:19] Eritrea: but I think that finding your people who are going to help support the projects that you care about is so important. I want to peel back some layers here. So we went really fast, but in the, so from the last time that you were on the pod, I was not here. You were on more than a diabetic because we did our series and that was great, but I wasn't here back then. So I was not a part of any of that stuff. And in changing diagnosis, diagnosis I think it's really important that we acknowledge that your community also changed because like if we think about type 2 and type 1 like your content used to be geared specifically for type 2 and so when you had that change in diagnosis like how did that impact first of all how did you soft launch that and roll it out and how did that impact your relationship then with

[00:18:09] Mila Clarke: industry because like this was literally fucking up your bag yeah yeah i mean that was one of the scariest things to me i literally walked in the endos office hoping like i hope that this does not come back with antibodies i hope i'm not antibody positive like please god don't let me be because i was like we're body positive but we're not antibody positive yeah exactly and so So like for me, I was like, oh God. And then when I got the results, I was like, and I sat on it for a while because I was like, I don't even know how to tell people this. Like, I feel like I'm going to let people down. I feel like they're going to hate me. Like I'm going to lose followers, like in mass, like nobody's going to want to follow my content anymore. And that was like all things that were just anxiety for me, but that didn't happen. And so I felt like I still I still do feel like a champion for diabetes stigma and for people with type 2 diabetes, because I basically lived that life. Like one unique perspective that I feel like I have is that I walked into the medical system, treated like someone with type 2 diabetes. And immediately once I got a rediagnosis, saw how I would be treated by both the community and like the medical community. And so I it's like really something that's always on my mind and that I'm very conscious of in terms of the way that I talk about diabetes. Like you'll probably notice that like I don't go around being like I have type 1. I have type 1. Like I'm very specific about saying I have LADA, latent autoimmune diabetes in adults. Here's what it is. I get met with a lot of pushback because some people are like, well, that's just type 1. Just say you have type 1 or on the flip side, people will say, well, you're not a real type 1. And there's no way that you could be. There's no way that you couldn't have been on insulin for so long. There's no way that anyone can go four years misdiagnosed. And, you know, people still doubt the story, even though I'm here telling it. And so, like, I think that was something that I was fearful of. I was like, I don't want the type 2 community to feel like I'm walking away. And now I'm being like, OK, peace out. Now I have type 1. So I'm not going to be facing and dealing with the same things that you are. But I also felt like I have a different perspective now that I can share and that I can tell people. And I think that like I never really understood how people could be misdiagnosed before I was. And it happens so much more often than people even think. And I always find it so crazy. And I think about it all the time when I'm telling people about the process of being misdiagnosed and telling people like, yeah, they just tested my A1C and my blood sugar. They didn't do any confirmation testing. And there's confirmation testing like it's a blood drop. They could have done it with all the other 10 million blood draws they did.

[00:21:09] Eritrea: You didn't know about it. So it is literally just that lack of information with the community aspect. Did you have anybody who got upset with you because you weren't type 2 anymore? Like, was anyone outwardly mean to you when your diagnosis changed?

[00:21:25] Mila Clarke: No, but I do feel like I got some, like, there was some sadness. Nobody was ever mean, but there was some sadness because people were like, you're such a great advocate for type 2. You're so visible. Like, we feel like you speak for us, kind of. And so it made me feel really bad because it was like, I still can. But also, like, there are other voices that are living it. And I'm not the only one. And like, I'm just one really loud person. So like, if everyone else is just as loud, like, well, I do. I feel that I feel that sadness from that person, right? Because there just aren't as many typical creators who are representing people with type 2 diabetes. There are more now than than ever, I think, and it's headed in the right direction. And the people who are representing them certainly are great. And like, you know, I think this is something that Eritre and I want to talk about a little bit as well. but like you know you're a black woman creator you know like that is like you know a very specific like so if i have type 2 diabetes and i'm a black woman and like okay i can see myself in in you and now now that kind of is taken away from me it doesn't change the way i feel about you and your content but all of a sudden now i still feel like different in that way like she and well wait well

[00:22:41] Eritrea: so the reason i'm asking the question is i'm being shady in a way so i want to i'm very i want to bring the t-shirt because it's hot no no because i don't think mila knows but i first of all we've never met in person right so mila and i don't have the relationship that you and she do and i think sometimes people think that because i work at diabetics doing things rob and i are one enmeshed human and his relationships with the others are the same but like when it happened i remember people being upset about it and being like well she's lying like she's holding on she's holding on to this diagnosis and like being really shady about it because like she's known for a while that she has type 1 like I just remember all this shitty conversation happening yeah I'm not gonna

[00:23:23] Mila Clarke: sit here and pretend that didn't go on there was that there was definitely that and so so my question

[00:23:30] Eritrea: more is like as a creator whose bag depends like this is your livelihood this is how you pay your bills right like this is like the thing that people clock into at work what did that process look like from like changing from type 2 to type 1 so that you could still keep relationships with brands and like keep your livelihood that what does that look like yeah so I think for one

[00:23:50] Mila Clarke: like and I can tell y'all the reason that I held on to it for so long was because I felt like I had to process it first to be able to even explain it because like how do you explain to people like yeah you know I've been writing this blog for four years and it's mainly been about type 2 diabetes. And now it's not that, you know, and I was like, people aren't even going to believe Lada is real. Like when my endo said it, I was like, okay, whatever. Like now, like, and he was like, no, seriously. Like, and he was like, do you have any questions? And I was like, okay, well, I've always been told that like, if I worked hard enough, I could get off of insulin. He was like, you're never getting off of insulin. Like this is lifelong for you. And it's only going to progress over time. And so I had all of these feelings because I was like, I had finally come to terms with the fact that I thought that I had type 2 diabetes. I was like, I am not going to be ashamed of this. I'm going to speak up. I'm going to speak out loud. And then all of a sudden I'm like, I have to like take this whole experience now. And it's completely different. I think the biggest thing for me also was that like some of the first people that I did tell were partners that I had. And the way that I framed it for them was I have still had this experience and I still have the credibility and the audience and the lived experience to speak to these things. Not every partner wanted to hear that. They were like, no, you're labeled this specific way. We can't use you in this campaign. We can't have you do this. We can't have you talk about this. And I had to fight a lot because I was like, this doesn't change anything. Like this doesn't change my passion for advocacy. This doesn't change my ability and desire to get people the information that they need. Like the only thing that has changed is my diagnosis. And I'm still very unfamiliar about how this is going to move forward for me. And I think that's what scared brands was that they were like, well, if you don't know, we don't know. And like, we don't know how we can like legally say these things. So that was like one flip side. The other flip side was that I had a lot of understanding from my brand partners. And most of them, I would say probably like 95% of them said, this doesn't change anything about our relationship with us. We're really sorry that this is what you're going through. but we want to find a way to still make it work and still like use the value that you have to be able to share the content that you share. And that for me was also kind of like a, okay, like, this is like a breath of fresh air. This is okay. Like capitalism won't win completely and we're going to be fine. It's going to be great. And so I think like, just kind of, that was really hard for me because like at the same time of dealing with a completely new diagnosis, I also was like, oh my God, I'm going to lose like everything that I've built to this point that I've worked so hard for. And like people just aren't going to want to hear from me anymore. And like, there it goes, like angry woman's done. It's over. Like I, I can't do anything about it. And so luckily, like overwhelmingly, I think the reaction to it was positive. Like there are always the naysayers. There are always people who are going to be like really rude and pointed. And there are also going to be people who are supportive and who understand that like life isn't linear, straightforward. Like things are random. Things happen. And like you can't necessarily like hold somebody to being the same person that they were, you know, four years ago. I agree. I agree. I also think like you've been labeling it as like you have this, like it wasn't just you, like you were diagnosed by a medical team, you know, like you were given prescriptions and you entered into agreements under the pretense that you lived with type 2 diabetes, which was the only information that you had at that point. And so like, you know, it's not, this is not like you, Steph Curry switching from Nike to Under Armour, you know.

[00:28:03] Eritrea: Right. And that's how people were talking about it, dude. It was so crazy to me how angry. I don't know if you knew, Mila, because I think when this was happening was my introduction to the Diabetes Online. It was at the beginning of my induction. So it was watching other people of color. It was black on black crime. I was like, what is happening in these group chats of people I don't even know? Like, I don't even know this girl. And you know what I mean? And so I think that's why I wondered, like, if they I feel very Meg the Stallion, right? Like, y'all are not going to say it to my face. Yeah. But I will say to your face. And you know that.

[00:28:44] Mila Clarke: Well, and that's the thing is like and that's something that I am so grateful to you for, because like I know that, like, if I come talk to Eritrea, like I'm going to get 100 percent honesty. I'm going to get the truth. I'm going to get the truth that I probably don't like, but that's OK. I would rather somebody tell me the truth that I don't like and know the truth than for people to smile to my face and then play behind my back, you know?

[00:29:06] Eritrea: And that's so lame. It's so lame, especially because I want to say, like, recently, and we're going to dig here. So I hope we're all very ready and sitting with our tea. But a couple weeks ago, Mila and I had a one-on-one, like, we had a call. And you were, like, so transparent with me about, like, pay and, like, companies and, like, and your story and, like, all the work that you've been doing. And I really honestly wasn't expecting it because for me, like in this space, what I've learned being a multiracial person is that there is only room for people of color. Like there's only room for like one of us or two of us in the room. So when I first like started coming into the space, I always saw you in the room and I didn't see other people. And it would make me really mad because I'd be like, is Mila the one holding the gate closed? Is she the one standing there being like, I checked the box for y'all. Don't look for other black people. but as I like learned more and more and more and got to know you and then the space itself I realized that that wasn't what was happening at all and that really there's other people of color who are in other higher spots than you and me and those are the gatekeepers there there are people and I won't name them because this is a platform where I respect Rob but when I learned that you weren't actually like that I was really surprised and kind of taken aback and I think that is there when we're talking about helping each other and helping people is there a space where we can and acknowledge that there seems to be a cap on how many like BIPOC people can occupy that space and that's easy to just check that box sometimes instead of opening it up like is that a conversation

[00:30:35] Mila Clarke: yeah no I think that that's so valid and so true like I think that and it also speaks to the culture of a lot of diabetes companies because it's it's almost like a okay we check the box of the one black person the one biracial person the one Latino person okay great everybody else can be white. It's fine. And it's almost all about like, here we are trying to make sure that we have the perfect mix of the perfect number of people of different cultures so that nobody's upset. And it isn't necessarily about catering to audiences with people that they identify with and that they understand. And so I think it's so interesting that you say that kind of about like the gatekeeping because I have never been that person. Like I am the most open, honest, transparent. You want to see my rate sheet? Sure. You want to know how much I charge for a brand deal? Sure. Like somebody could literally message me on Instagram, be like, how much do they pay you for that brand deal? I would tell you, like, I'm, I don't hide those things because I don't think that they need to be hidden. But I also feel like it's super important to also like protect myself at the end of the day. Like, I don't just do that for anybody. I do it for people that I trust and for people that I know aren't going to talk crap about me or that aren't going to turn around and like share it with everybody else and be like, who does she think she is? Look at this. But the other thing I think is that people make so many assumptions. And I think that if people would just ask and they would say, hey, I saw that you have this existing relationship or this existing partner. I really want to work with them too. Like, what did you do to get in the door? I am like so happy to be like, oh, okay, this is like the contact that I have. This is how I've worked with them in the past. This is the kind of expectation that they have. I don't know if they're looking for other people, but I'm happy to make the introduction. I'm happy to hold the door open for you. And people don't do that for me. Nobody does that for me. Everybody thinks that I just have it all together and that I'm doing everything perfectly and like that I get into all the rooms so nobody has to say my name in the room okay i think we're myth busting mila clark

[00:32:50] Eritrea: buckley right now i'm so serious because i will not lie to you a year ago i was a hater i was like bro why is she the only black girl in all these like what's happening like what why i don't and it wasn't me just because i i have said no to brand deals because i am not fully black i'm not i don't check that mark call me the clark buckley or call me the clark actually because maybe that you know she will but I do remember like when I was first on the scene I was like huh it's always the same three to four people and I'm really tired of that and I've learned that some of them are gatekeepers some of them are assholes who don't want to share information and help out but you're not one of them and I think that I'm we're debunking that right now because it's not fair that

[00:33:30] Mila Clarke: you do have that rep and that sucks yeah well and like the other thing too is that I don't feel like it's necessary to walk around and be like, hey, I said your name in this room today. Like if I'm thinking of somebody or I know someone has really great content, I'm just going to send their name and send their email and say, hey, I really think that you should check this person out. One, because if it doesn't work out, I don't want them to be pissed at me because like they're like, oh, well, it's your fault that it didn't work out. But two, like I just think like when I think of someone who is like really good for something and somebody asks me, hey, do you know anyone? Or even if they don't ask me, like sometimes I'm like, hey, I also know somebody else who would be really great for this campaign. Have you reached out to them? Are they on your radar? Here's their Insta, like check out their stuff. And I don't do that for any other reason, but it just to me feels like the right thing to do. And it feels like I know that I'm not the only voice. I know that like my culture, my race is not a monolith. I don't speak for everyone, but I get those opportunities because I work really, really, really damn hard. I have really amazing existing relationships just from my work over time, but also like I'm good at what I do. And so that's always what like gets me a little bit like fired up or a little bit upset about like what's deemed kind of like the competitiveness of brand deals in the community or like things like that is like there's not really competition like if you do good work people will find you and that's all that I've ever tried to do do good work and help people and that's why I get into the rooms that I get into and I'm like a genuinely kind person and I think

[00:35:18] Eritrea: people recognize you are no you are and the fact that it's surprising sucks one two it's interesting that you say that you do good work and people and like it it shows because Rob always is saying that but what I think is even more interesting if you guys will indulge me for one last second I promise after this I'll go back to being a producer and shutting up but isn't it interesting that because in this industry it would kind of already been groomed that there's only room for one or two of us in the room that I would feel that way about you like that I would be like oh she's keeping me out of the room and so then I'm here holding you accountable and asking you this type of question and we would never do that to a white man Rob would never ask Neil Greyhouse like hey you're making these videos because of you I didn't get that brand deal. But we, people of color in this industry, we do have to think that way because

[00:36:04] Rob Howe: they will only put two of us or one of us. Let me chime in on this one a little bit. I don't think that's unique to people of color. I think that that is a scarcity mindset that a lot of people just have. And I think it is rooted in, I don't know, it seems like too easy to call it like jealousy it's like your mom telling you like when people are being mean to you at school that like oh they're just jealous of you it feels like that you know but um you're right like i don't think that way about neil is a good example like because also though like and mila i think this comes back to what you're talking about about helping people has always been the at the center like that the ultimate goal of all of this is just to connect with people and to help people I told the story however many times on the podcast, like 10 episodes. If somebody says this helps them, we're going to keep going. Here we are. And like the result of more people being in the space is more people getting help. So like to me, like that's I think where people get upside down about it because they see a brand deal or they see a million view video or they see a celebrity comment or, you know, things that are like ultimately meaningless, like in the grand scheme. And I say that with all the gratitude for the brand deals that I've been able to get. My partners know how I feel about them and support the work that we do. Respectfully, none of that money has changed my life meaningfully in a monetary way. And that's totally fine. I'm not looking forward to do that. Whereas I look at Jayson Tatum has a deal with SoFi Bank that's going to be nine figures. And I think that's good. Good for him.

[00:37:49] Eritrea: That's your privilege. That's the whole point of what I'm saying to you. That money hasn't changed your life. That has changed her life. That is her livelihood. That's why I'm saying what I'm saying. Do you see how that went? The point was over here and Rob went this way. I don't know. Is that just me? Am I just being mean?

[00:38:06] Rob Howe: Yeah, I don't think you know about it. I don't think you're picking up what I'm saying.

[00:38:09] Eritrea: Okay, maybe.

[00:38:10] Rob Howe: I think that the jealousy side of it comes from perception. So that goes back to what Mila said earlier about the perception of hangry woman is millions of views, brand partners left and right, you know, brunch here, flight here, speaking here. Like she's got it all figured out. She, you know, she doesn't need the help. She's her own entity standing on her own two feet. Like she has no problems, all of those things. But behind that is like a real person who is running a business, has staff to support, has small business taxes to navigate. Had five columns in her bank account in October and was like well how am I gonna make this work like literally like set my friend a screenshot of my bank account I was like girl look at this and she was like oh no what happened like this is

[00:38:55] Eritrea: post-divorce okay people don't talk about this enough because I think we're all so like ashamed or whatever but post-divorce life is fucked up like when you went from having listen a shout out to my ex I'm not a hater but when I lost 180 pounds of baggage I also lost like 200k of income bro so like i understand that like step back that you have to take when you're like hold on what do you mean i can't get my nails done what do you mean what do you mean these

[00:39:27] Mila Clarke: edges are going to look at myself for a bit i guess i'm learning i'm learning gel x at home now i mean i'm a diy girl yeah it's cute it's funny or even like in the more serious sense like shit, I have now what I was paying for half of a mortgage. And so now I'm paying for full rent on my own by myself. I have to figure out how to get health insurance so that I actually have coverage because now I have to be on insulin, which I can't just say, well, I can just like not take that and let my blood sugars run high. Like, no, I'll die. Then also having like just the I mean like the financial burden itself of divorce like it is so expensive to get divorced like you don't just like sign a paper and it goes away you pay like five to ten thousand dollars to get everything settled luckily for us it wasn't a fight like I was basically like we're not fighting we're doing this in like the plain Jane vanilla divorce way like you do not raise hell because we're not paying more than we have to for the attorney walked away gracefully good for you I know i shouldn't have if i could go back no tea there but like if you could go back you'd have drama yes i would i totally would he caused drama so i would have caused drama anyways there's a there's a separate conversation about that somewhere but like yeah like they're very yeah diabetics doing things after dark i can tell you guys wait no but

[00:40:56] Rob Howe: Don't threaten me with a good time.

[00:40:57] Eritrea: I love talking about men, especially after they... But you know what? I will say this. Maybe you'll be the only one. I know hard wig soft life, girl. You was living hard wig soft life, bitch. Okay? And Rob knows what that means because I told him I was going to bring it up. But I want you to know you was living. And you're still living now. That's the point. But it takes a little bit of time to back to the soft wig, dog. because like I was out there looking crazy.

[00:41:26] Mila Clarke: Yeah, well, in the transition, like, yeah, it gets difficult because it's like you're now having to like not only navigate like who you are as a person and figure out like, like did you do something to make this fail? And then like, I mean like the amount of therapy that I had to do like in between the time because I was like, I just don't know like who I am as a person and if I'm even who I think I am and if I'm even doing the right things in life, like those those moments just like shake you up so much and then add chronic illness on top of that like you're trying to save your own life every day but then you're also like in this crazy emotional space where like you don't have room to grieve and to like fill your cup back up without people eyeballing pinpointing every single thing that you do and so like in the process of that i I had a really tough time because I knew that I was like hearing some of that chatter, like exactly what you had mentioned, Eritrea, people being like, well, why does she get to do this? And like, why is she on this brand trip? And why does she get this brand deal? And like my own people saying this in literally thinking I'm not in the room. Like I saw people say things in a group chat that I'm in. And I was like, just because I'm not like chiming in with y'all every day doesn't mean I didn't just see all of that. Like, and, and that also changes my mind about like, okay, well, cool. I spoke your name in a room and that's what you think of me. So like, never again, you know, like be kind to people because, and, and I feel like that's also maybe like another one of my North stars. Like, I just don't find pleasure in torturing people. I don't find pleasure in being a mean person or like making someone feel miserable. I just like I like being happy and I like being kind

[00:43:23] Eritrea: I mean I think sometimes it's easy like okay so I went to this like slipstream thing I was talking to different people and this girl there was telling me about someone else in the space we all know them, we all know who I'm talking about maybe I'll tell you off camera but she was telling me basically how that person was so intimidated by others all the time and kind of the same way that I was just explaining how I felt and I realized that it's just chronic illness maybe or this could be I don't know what it is but it does breed that type of scarcity mindset that maybe Rob was trying to touch on that it's just like he is the only human I know because even Mila and you're gonna hate me for this but even you've done it because you posted about somebody who was stealing your username and you were so mad you're like this bitch really stealing my username out here I came up with like that's not fair the only person I've ever met who's not like that is Rob who's like I'm just gonna show in publicly I don't know how we use privately we've always been like we're just gonna show up we're gonna do the pod if other people create a pod they can come on our pod we'll go on their pod like you're the only human i know like that so it's like how do is there is there enough money out here for all of us is there actually

[00:44:28] Rob Howe: or do we have more in the best way there is way more than enough there is not scarcity scarcity is made the fuck up like it does not exist it is something that like honestly keeps us from being the best human beings possible because we think that like we have to get ours and it's at the expense of everyone else and i think that's particularly true in american culture but there isn't scarcity like there are budgets i do an entire podcast on like how we're bred to like in competition with each other and like i don't know i come back to like to and i'm sorry for cutting you off like you're right like we have abundance there is abundance otherwise there wouldn't be a million YouTube accounts with over a million subscribers. We live in this world where like, I, yeah, I discovered one the other day. There was somebody I saw the, I love the Lakers. And so I, on the Lakers Instagram account, Austin Reaves was like giving a Jersey to a young lady that I'd never seen before. And she was Asian. So I'm like, okay, well, who is this? Well, she has 30 million followers on Instagram. So like 30 million people follow her. I had never heard of her at all. And so like, there are hundreds of thousands of people like that who are the top of their craft in wherever or whatever they're doing. And we'd never even heard of them. We found a kid with diabetes the other day who's a content creator in Spain who has more followers than all of us combined. And I've never even seen his clips. And his content is basketball and diabetes, which are the only things I care about. So it's like, you never know what is like,

[00:46:06] Eritrea: what else is out there so like the fact that rob's a loser to that guy is hilarious yeah like

[00:46:11] Rob Howe: i'm i'm black to that dude that guy's like i'm not gonna find this guy we never call on that guy's pod i just think i just think that it's you're right it is american it's uniquely american it also is just like the idea that once you know we have to measure ourselves against each other like that comparison culture it's just generational curses generational trauma like the reality is that nobody is thinking about any of us like nobody cares and that's what i think like you know i've been kind of going through my own like weird like morning of kobe bryant like i miss my guy you know and i didn't even know him and i just remember like how clear he always was of like nobody cares what you're going to like like show up and do the work like or else you'll be forgotten like nobody cares what you're going through you got to work hard you got to go through that. And, you know, that's where on the, on the flip side of that, cause that sounds like really harsh. And I think we're living in a soft kind of era anyway. And I think living with a chronic illness is a heavy burden. But then I also look at like, you know, there's the Steve Martin's book is called born standing up and it's a really beautiful autobiography, but the, the, the crux of it is like, be so good. You can't, they can't ignore you. Like if you're so good, if you're so good. Like I have nothing to do. I can't take you down. Like, you know, I'm not occupying your space. Like go be the best, like go be the best person you can be. You want to take my username. Cool. I didn't, you know, go and run with it. You want to, but what I want to be, and this is like, you know, Eritrea and I've been talking about this a lot more recently because we were having a conversation with another creator about this. But like when I came on the space, there were people who were welcoming to me and there were people who weren't. And I made the decision then that if there were other people after me, that I was going to be one of the people who was welcoming. And because that made me feel good, even though I didn't really deserve it at the time. Like, like, I just be a be a kind person, be a nice person. Like, one of the things that I tell my employees about, like, notoriety, awards, whatever, like, that stuff doesn't mean that much to me. But what I really pride myself on is like, Rob Howe is great to work with. Yeah, like, that's really all I care about. If you say that, cool, like, we're then I'm doing what I need

[00:48:21] Eritrea: to do yeah and so you know again it's not a bad one rob how's good to work with i think since oh this i think this would be a good moment for us to like if we could define our thing like my because i think mine would be i am accountable because like you can tell me like that i said something that was fucked up and you'd be like hey like that really was fucked up that was not cool like i didn't like that or whatever and i'll be the first one to be like that is fucked up and we'll probably laugh about it but i have had people send me dms before be like hey you said this on an episode and it made me feel xyz i'm willing to be held accountable 100 of the time i'm willing to hear you out with your have the conversation i think that's my thing will it always be enjoyable to work with me maybe not because i'll make you uncomfortable and you probably deserve to be made up but i'll still be held accountable i think that is what my thing

[00:49:07] Rob Howe: would be like as far as being i just want to i want to go back though to like perception is reality like the like knowing you and like being hey guys i'm in mila's close friends so sorry at all you

[00:49:20] Eritrea: suckers me too suckers haha it's wild in there so i get to see like you know some of the moments

[00:49:27] Rob Howe: that not everybody else gets to see and like you know the the real like behind the scenes of you know we didn't get the bank account screenshot but like we knew when this was going on like this was like very difficult times you were navigating it navigating the change like opening us up and like being very transparent and being very vulnerable about what, you know, these changes that are going on in your life. And like, you know, my first thought, like when you announced that you had LADA and you made that public was like, man, I bet Mila feels a lot better now that she's got the right medicine. I bet she's probably not as frustrated about her endo visits as she used to be. I didn't even think about all of the other stuff. And then it's like, oh, okay, well, these partnerships have changed. The, you, you posted something the other day, like the distinct, the contraindications and legal and like distinction of like what therapies you're able to talk about has changed. That's a whole other, I could go into an entire podcast episode about, I'm not even allowed to share my time in range because it's too high. So it's. Yeah.

[00:50:22] Eritrea: You shouldn't. It's shameful to other people that don't have access to the technology that you do and doesn't don't have.

[00:50:27] Mila Clarke: If you're on Instagram, get, you know, get away from me with that kind of chat.

[00:50:31] Eritrea: You know what? Catch this block. Anyways, continue.

[00:50:34] Rob Howe: But yeah, like all that to say is like you, you never know what's really going on with someone. And I think treating people like people and not entities, like the hangry, you know, your, your photo framing on this call is beautiful. Your audio sublime, you know, your production value.

[00:50:52] Eritrea: Makeup flawless. Dude, she knew to come correct. I would have been like,

[00:50:58] Mila Clarke: but you never know what someone's going through behind that in their real life. And I think that's where like, I try to come from a respectful place. Like this is the internet. This is like people are saying things, you know, coming out the side of their neck like all the time because they don't know that's a real person on the other end. Yeah. No, they forget. Or they think they'll never hear it. They'll never receive this. They'll never, ever want to respond back to this. And, you know, you talked a little bit about how, like, if people come at me sideways, I come back at them and they're like, oh, my God, like, my dear, clutch the pearls. Like she said something back and I'm like, you really think that like, I'm just going to let you talk to me crazy and say these things and like not defend myself. Like I am a kind person. I'm a nice person. Yes. But like, I won't let things slide when they shouldn't slide. And like, I think it's just like, it's so important to recognize like in this, in this landscape of everything being a brand and everything being hyper curated and everything just being like, I don't know, like an entity of some sort that like there is literally a real person behind it. And in my case, a person behind it that was doing it by herself for six or seven years before she could finally afford to get help and like make it work. So like, I think it's just it really just goes back to like treat people with the kindness and with the respect that you would want to be treated with because there's not a single person in this world who would want to get some of the messages that I get on a daily basis because people think like, oh, she just probably has someone checking her inbox or, you know, she's not paying attention. This is just going to go to like the trash folder. And it's like, no, I see everything. I read everything. Like I generally try to respond to everything. And it's not just a matter of like, say what's on your mind just because like if you wouldn't sit in front of me and say that same thing don't feel like you can type it out and send it to me behind like your fake ig account like that just doesn't it doesn't fly with me but it's also i don't know like it's so interesting because like i saw you guys probably know exactly what post i'm talking about but there was a post about another creator that would you know basically like scrolled through their feed and was like poking up their contents you know saying that they basically do all of this for cash and i thought that it was like a really unfair representation because like even though that is sort of the perception and maybe it has like a little tiny tiny nugget of truth to it it was so unfair to the person that was being called out it didn't tag them in the post. Ooh, I love stuff like that. But like, I was thinking if somebody did that to me, like if somebody went through my feed, scrolled through, cherry picked things to prove their point and to say like, you know, like she's doing this and she's doing this and when has she ever cared and she only cares when it's about her, like I would be livid because it's like, Like you clearly are.

[00:54:07] Eritrea: I would be like the Charlie Day meme where he's standing there with the maps and the grass. I would be like, and this is how many, this is what I did here. And this is what I did here. You don't even, you know what? This is so eye-opening. You don't really know what people are doing in the rooms that you're.

[00:54:22] Mila Clarke: No. And like, and it kind of goes back to like what I had mentioned before about like, I don't announce it when I'm like, oh, so-and-so, like I said your name out loud in this, on this call for this brand deal. like because you don't have to announce every single good thing you do to know that you are doing good like you just don't you don't have to like pat yourself on the back every time you do something that is valuable for the community or society and so like i feel like people don't recognize that they think what they see on the grid is everything that's going on without ever realizing that people are doing so much more than what shows up on their feed like we just we can't possibly edit and curate our lives that much to be able to share every single thing that we're doing and if we did i bet you that people would turn around back up and be like oh my god they are just like so full of themselves they congratulate themselves for everything like there

[00:55:17] Eritrea: is no winning and all you can do i don't know that we just we all like secretly pull ourselves apart but i want to i don't want to i know we're getting really close to time but i want to talk about your app because that is something let let let us well rob looks like he has a thinking question based on

[00:55:32] Rob Howe: yeah yeah i was i i wanted to just like to wrap this up too a little bit i do want to talk about your app because it which ties in really nicely to like helping people and you can't like show that i think for we can sum up this creator conversation like we have three creators on this call who put in countless hours you cannot make everyone happy like even when you're just trying to help people you know the shout out jurassic park three which is the worst of the original jurassic parks but some of the worst things imaginable were done with the best intentions like you can have the best intentions you can have the purest heart somebody is going to if they want pick it apart because guess what you're a person you're a human but like they're also just scrolling through and they're like mad at probably about something else or you know something on in their life or some other insecurity and i know that sounds like you know back to like mom telling you that oh they're just jealous don't worry about it but like it's true like everybody's having a

[00:56:34] Eritrea: hard time well isn't it that you are just like no like you're kind of a coward like i because the thing is i give myself the full openness to hate on others because i am a fool on the internet you guys follow me my i am an idiot i'm a complete moron so i give myself full opportunity to be like you look stupid whatever i'm a hater number one player hit evolve that is me so if you are on the internet and you're scrolling and you're hating on me hiding behind user one two seven five six nine girl you are ugly you can't say shit to me well well that's what i mean is like think of the

[00:57:09] Mila Clarke: like yeah like a dog account like a dog account dming you and like being mad at you i'm like i can't take you seriously like you're not that's happened to me before me too yeah it's just like i can't take you seriously like because you're a dog and like so like i my joke on that that particular person was to talk to them like a dog like good boy good boy oh bad dog you know it's like okay this is a fake thing this is like this and like the real chronic illness is content creation and like the idea that literally every part of our life is interesting enough for everyone else to see. And the, you know, we have to virtue signal with every good thing that we do. We have to celebrate every accomplishment. Everybody's birthday matters. Everybody is. And everybody's the main character of their own story. Like I am, I know I'm just getting older, but like, I just have limited capacity to remember things about people. Like, and I have, I have a smaller ride, you know, Jesus only had 12 damn disciples. Like what the hell? Yeah, but you have 19,000. Is that what you're trying to tell us? It's like, Jesus come at me, bro. No, but yeah, like how are you supposed to keep track with all these people like in the close friends like you know like oh 100 you know i i got people with 300 close friends like god damn like how do you

[00:58:21] Eritrea: apparently mila can message everyone back and it sounds like they begin their hot fire here and

[00:58:25] Mila Clarke: there yeah they do especially like a lot of times i'll just ignore it because i i have also adopted the mindset that every moment that i spend on a hater is one moment that i can't spend helping someone else. And so sometimes, sometimes, you know, I'll be in a mood and I'm like, you know what, they're going to catch all the smoke right now because I'm, I have time today. Looked at my wrist, I got time today. But like, for the most part, I'm just kind of, I just think it's like really interesting that people say these things out loud when they think that nobody is really listening. And I think it does go back to what Rob had said about, like, it's all about their own individual mindset as well. Like when you are, you know, like living kind of in like a scarcity mindset or you're thinking like, well, like I want to do what they do, but your frustration is like, well, I don't know how to get to where they got. And so I'm just going to be mad at them because they're there and I don't like seeing them there. And I think that is completely individual. Like that is, it is up to a person to feel that way themselves. Like nobody makes you feel that way. and so I think like it just goes back to like I'm gonna do my best to help people and to be happy and to live a good life and do the things that I think are right and if somebody can't find a way to accept that then like as horrible as it is to say that is their problem it does not have to

[00:59:54] Eritrea: become my problem and I really become a yes and person which is so sad I'm not an Ariana Grande stan she's a woman who ruins homes i that's not my thing but i am a do whatever you want with your

[01:00:06] Rob Howe: life dog like it is literally your life i think too though people want to fast forward people want to they want to jump to the all the followers they want to jump to the brand deals and they don't see the work before because they didn't experience it right and sometimes it's archived too because not everybody keeps it but i want to like this is a great chance for me i've been thinking about this a lot and I've talked about it in like my professional life, but Levy from American Pie and from Schitt's Creek, you know, and Best in Show. He was like the same guy in Hollywood playing bit parts for like till he was 75 years old. And like until his 70s didn't have like a number one show hit till Schitt's Creek. And like so and then Jennifer Coolidge, you know, in her late 50s, like Legally Blonde, like absolutely like, you know, a Hollywood star, like, you know, you know a second lead and some like you know classic ip of american of american film illegally blonde right but then she doesn't really get her moment till she's in her late 50s early 60s like and wins an emmy on on white lotus and so it's like those people i know had moments where they wanted to retire where they wanted to quit where they were i don't i'm just i'm just gonna go do another old dad part. I'm just going to go do another, you know, bride's mom in a, in a, you know, lifetime movie, you know, but they stuck with it. And then, you know, they get these opportunities way down the line. And I just know that there were low moments along the way that we didn't get to see. So like, it takes 10 years to make an overnight success or whatever the case may be. And sometimes you see these people that like blow up big time, but you know, those are rare that's much much more rare than the people who've been doing it all over okay so that's

[01:01:50] Eritrea: wait wait wait no because i and sometimes those people were discovered already by other communities because i'm gonna tell you something i am black so that means eugene levy was introduced to me by queen latifah and brie down the house yeah that's okay okay so i've been new so black people been new about mr levy so in that vein i would say that it's not even about that overnight success or that overnight moment, but there are other moments that are smaller and they might not seem as important. That can be huge in your career as far as like milestones go. And when you look back on the big things that really like moved you forward in a way that maybe you never would have thought, which now brings us to your app.

[01:02:29] Rob Howe: But one last thing on that, I promise. We're going to fight. Just bring it. I'm going to shut up after this. But like none of those people we talked about got to where they were getting at the end by putting someone else down or gatekeeping.

[01:02:41] Eritrea: right period because the gatekeepers got to go down and whatever anyways let's talk about the app yeah well what do you want to know well I mean it's first of all it's really pretty I want to say that it's pretty you had this whole like rebrand thing done it matches your website it's very I love it I love an organized queen it's very it's giving so but first of all why did you want to come out with your own app like with there already being so many apps out there and what's special

[01:03:09] Mila Clarke: about this one specifically? Yeah. So it was something that I had been thinking about for probably three or four years at this point. And I really just didn't know how to approach it and how to attack it because I'm not a technical person. Like I'm a creative person, but I'm not technical. And in all of my research, I spent like a year doing research, researching firms that build apps, what the costs look like, how I might have to like raise money for it, like all this kind of stuff. And I was so defeated because I was like, this is really hard. Like, it's not easy to create an app. It's not easy to like make something like this happen. But mainly it was because I was sick of creating really beautiful content for it to get seen by like three people. Like that, that is how it hit me. And I was like, I like, I'm glad that anybody sees my content, But I work so hard, you know, spending like hours and hours and hours on scripting and editing and research and reading studies and like trying to make sure that all of the information is accurate. And at the time, you know, doing that all on my own for me to post something that I am so proud of and so excited of. And then it just falls flat and nobody sees it. And I'm like, well, I just spent all that time on nothing. And so I really wanted to build out a place that was kind of like a pocket guide for diabetes, basically. And so like something that people could open and know that one, they were supported by someone so that they weren't going through diabetes alone to that. They could get any resource that they needed or wanted just with like the search of a button. So if they were looking for a specific recipe, if they were looking for a course to help them with habit change, if they were trying to understand diabetes management at the very basic level, which is mainly who this app is for. It's for people who are really new to diabetes or their caregivers, and they just need the basics, the foundation, so that they can feel more confident to move on along the way. And then the other thing that was really important to me was that it needed to be on a pay what you can scale or as free as I could possibly make it without bankrupting myself to run this app. And so I think that's been the thing that I have really appreciated about the community. Like it has all of that. But what's like the coolest is that I offer health coaching for free once a month to anybody in the community who needs it so they can sign up. They have a health coaching call with me like they are a client. They get to have that progression and that like analysis of their behavior change. We work together with their care providers to make sure that everything is still balanced and I help to keep them accountable. and then like if they want to they can pay if they can't pay like I'm like okay pay it forward to somebody else like eventually if you can like tell somebody about the app or leave a review or like just do something that helps somebody else because like that is the gift that I want to give you like you can't afford to go see like a coach or like a diabetes educator somebody who can help keep you accountable because maybe you don't have insurance or you don't have the copay or you can't cash pay like this. This is for you. Like this is for you to be able to like get what you need on the very basic level. And, you know, we're not sitting and doing things like changing the rates on their insulin pump or, you know, like going through their CGM data and like trying to pinpoint things. It's actionable conversations that really get to the root of where they're stuck and how we can get them unstuck with diabetes management. And then I'm able to give them tools to say, hey, like you can check out this resource to learn more about this thing that you feel like you're struggling with. Or that's something that's great to talk to your healthcare provider about. You should put that on your list for your next appointment. And then like, let's talk about it in a couple months and let me know how it goes. And so I just, I wanted, like, even though it is really, really difficult to keep a platform like this running. Like it's super expensive. So it is very hard to do it for free. I almost shut it down at the beginning of this year because I was like, like, it's either my rent or the app, and I'm not really sure which one it's gonna be. So, but I'm really glad that I like hung in there. And I kept at it because it has just been I mean, like the most rewarding part to me has been people coming back and saying, I had a 20 minute conversation with you that literally changed the way I feel about myself. And I feel positive about diabetes management. I finally feel like I can do this. I feel like you answered a question that I just never had gotten answered. I feel like I can talk really openly with you about how things are going and I feel nurtured and not judged. And like, those are all of the things that I wanted to feel in my diabetes management journey. And I'm really glad that I get to give people that back through glucose guide and giving people like what they need to be able to thrive. And then it's cool. We do like weekly meetups and things like that, like where people can actually connect with each other. So like there is this also the sense of connection, like people aren't just talking to me, they're learning and meeting about each other. They're finding people who live in like, you know, close proximity to them or people who are going through the same things that they're going through. Or I had someone on the app share about how they were like really scared to get on a pump. And they had never, and just like me, like they were like, I don't want to do this. Like I know that I have to. And so I was like, book a call, let's have a conversation about it and let's talk about it. And so like, we were able to kind of like navigate their fears about it and come up with questions that they could ask to alleviate those fears. And so it's not like that, you know, direct way of helping people like I'm your doctor and I'm changing this and we're doing this, but it's like those, those I'm stuck moments and I'm trying to get unstuck and like, here's how we can do that together. What do you think, like, because you've met a lot of people, you know, making content and connecting with people outside of your own space, but like, how are the relationships you're building with the people using your app different than like followers on social platforms? I think that like, if I were to compare my Instagram to Glucose Guide, I think the thing that I feel like is really different is that there is less of a, almost like passive relationship. Like I, I love my community on social media. I think that like, I get so much value from people that I follow, from people who follow me, from people that I message like day in and day out. But I, I feel like in this community, it really does feel like a safe space. And it feels like a space where people can be themselves and can be honest about where they are and there isn't that like filter but there's also not that passiveness like people aren't just like scrolling through the app liking every post they're scrolling yeah yeah liking every post but they're also commenting they're talking to each other they're asking questions like they're invested in their health and they're invested in like how they want their diabetes management to evolve and i think that's what makes it so different and so special because it's like You have people here that aren't just passively watching aesthetic recipe videos, but are actively being like, okay, how does this work with diabetes management for me and asking those questions? Yeah, or reading the news or celebrating their aunt or running from their aunt's weird racist posts or something like that. Sorry to all the aunties that just caught strays from me.

[01:11:05] Eritrea: Most of your aunt only. I'm going to raise your aunt. You, Mila? You?

[01:11:09] Mila Clarke: That is a white person affliction.

[01:11:12] Eritrea: White person from Dallas, Texas. You log in and all of a sudden. This is a very specific trigger to me. Anyways, no, it's something about this app, though, to me, sounds like it's actually social and that social media is parasocial in the way that we're just being consumed, especially as black women of color. Because, like I said earlier, we do just check a box. So it's like maybe social media is a place to be critiqued where it sounds like your app is more a place to like build community and try to grow and be

[01:11:41] Mila Clarke: supported like be supported in whatever decisions you want to make to enhance your health and so like you know there are plenty of people who like a lot of the audience in the app are people with type 2 and you know they've heard all of the stigma all of the like you did this to yourselves all of the if you get on medication you are not doing a great thing for your body and so like some of it is like undoing those beliefs and kind of getting to the root of like, where did you hear that? And who told you that? And like, okay, let's work to undo that. And then also find a way to get you to understand diabetes management as a whole, a little bit better on the basic level. And then also apply it to, okay, how can you move forward in this? How can this, how can you make this better for you? And so I think even though like it, it is a diabetes community as a whole, it's very like individualized and contextualized and having those like one-on-one conversations has been a really important part of, I think, what makes this different. Like meeting via, you know, Google Meet, talking, like going through their health history, getting to know them as a person, getting to know what their actual life is like. And I think like a lot of the work that I've done in the past, and then also now, like as I am becoming a dietitian, like I'm realizing more and more, like it's, it's not just about the food you eat and how much you move and how much insulin you take and that kind of stuff. People have real everyday like burdens and barriers that don't allow them to have the health that they want to have. And so like, it's not until you talk with someone and get to know them that you figure those things out and that you can help to help them to untangle them a little bit. And I think that's what makes it different is like I can spend more time one on one with people. And you mentioned some of those like real struggles like earlier when we were talking about rent and like having to make having to decide like whether you're going to refill your prescription or you're going to live at the place that you currently live or disrupt your life or like stay in that relationship because you have that 180 pounds and that extra salary and insurance coverage. to keep you like, you know, so like people are making those decisions, like real life, like modern day life for the average person is extremely challenging. Yeah. And I didn't want my app to be another place where that was a challenge. Like I didn't want anyone to ever think, okay, can I get groceries this month or can I pay for health coaching? Like that to me is just like unacceptable. And so for me, it's like, like that's my message to every single person that I talk to. I'm like, you're getting this service for free. Granted, there is a wait list because it is free. So like, it takes me time to get through people on the wait list. But like, you're being given this gift of knowledge of time of expertise. And it's okay that like, you're not investing in it. But like, make sure to pay it forward and make sure to invest in yourself. Like, don't just like take this advice for granted. And don't just like take this process for granted, like really know that you're here because you care about your health and like you're doing work for yourself. And like, there's, there's nothing better than that, but also like make sure that it keeps going, like believe in yourself, you know, like everything is possible. So it was like those, I don't know, like I just, I, I can think of so many negative ways that I have felt about having diabetes in my past and like times where it's been a real struggle for me and it's been really difficult and I've had to make really hard choices that I did not want to make and like I want the place that I open up as like almost like my little like diabetes home to people as like welcoming and positive and supportive because like I want people to feel and know that they have support behind them and that like I will meet them where they are and what's really interesting about that is like I have had more people take advantage of health coaching and then pay after because they were so and like they were so excited about the process that they were like there's no way I'm taking this from you for free Like, no. And I was like, it's not a requirement. Like the the requirement is that you take the information that you get in these sessions and these times together and you apply that to you and you make your life better. That's it. That's the only requirement. But it's really cool to see that the process works and that people really do get value from it. And that more often than not, like I offer it for free because I don't want anyone to struggle. But people end up being like, no, no, no. Like, please let me pay you for this. Like, can I subscribe to the app? Can I do something? so I think that that that speaks a lot for itself just in terms of the way I'm approaching it and I know that it's really different and I know that it also puts me in a position where like I do have to struggle a little bit like I have to find partners and sponsors and I have to sometimes not do all of the ad-free things that I really want to do but at the end of the day it's like if that can subsidize people getting their help and like the things that they need to do then like I'm all for that and if you have to watch one little ad to get an entirely free everything like watch the ad don't complain stop complaining that's been like my new pet peeve recently is

[01:17:22] Eritrea: people who complain about free stuff so like and I just mute it like I just like I'll be listening to a podcast I'm like girl this ad is okay mute I know go forward you can get your bag and I can still just listen like we can all win here exactly it's just a tax this is a tax so we can do what we do, right? Hey, the toll roll, bro. You'd be on that tollway, dog. You'd be paying. NTTA,

[01:17:44] Rob Howe: come and get our money. Or every time network raises their prices every six months, like we still pay, you know, like we still are like, okay, well, I guess like we still want- 18-10 says the rates go up. Insurance company says the rates go up. We got to pay. Yeah. Well, the app is called Glucose Guide. You can go glucoseguide.app. We're going to include a link to the show notes. You can also search in the app. We'll see the app store. So if that's something you're interested in, obviously there's a wait list, but Mila Clarke is available for you providing this valuable information and community for free. So go do it, but don't complain. So she's given it like, I think that's, that's a, that's a one big takeaway, but Mila, we have talked almost the entire time. We have gone through it, like change, you know, tackling life as a diabetes creator. I, you know, thank you for opening up your life and for coming back and being a friend of the pod always so and you know thank you for keeping us in the close friends so that we can you know see all the inner workings and also the the doodle photos which are hilarious so good to see you and thank you as always for spending time with us yeah thank y'all it was like such a joy to spend time with you today thank you likewise all right this episode was contributed and conspired and produced by our chairman and edited by Ashley Bryant and Laura Kowalczyk. Thank you guys so much for listening.