Diabetics Doing The Sugars with Libby Russell

[00:00:00] Rob Howe: Whoa! New intro, who dis? Welcome back to the Diabetics Doing Things podcast, where we're telling the amazing, untold, wacky, weird, and inspiring stories of type 1 diabetics from across the world. I'm your host, Rob Howe, and I wanted to let you know that we now have over 500 years of living with T1D on the podcast, and we're on track to be over 1,000 by the end of the summer, which is pretty exciting. I also wanted to chat about my new email series, Friday T1D Feels, where I send you a personal note, no fancy graphics or anything like that, about what I've been thinking about in the world of type 1 diabetes during that week. If you're into that, just go to diabeticsdoingthings.com and sign up. I'd also like to take a minute to talk about hashtag coverage to control. JDRF is raising awareness around the fact that most of us don't get to pick the insulin pumps we have, just the ones our insurance will cover. Just imagine if your cell phone was like that. Except this isn't a phone, it's what keeps us alive. So let your voice be heard and tell your insurance company that T1Ds and their doctors should decide what kind of pumps they use, not the company's. I'm looking at you, Aetna, UnitedHealthcare, Blue Cross Blue Shield. Let's get this right. Okay, enough chatter. Let's get back to the episode. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Diabetics Doing Things. We're telling the amazing stories of type 1 diabetics throughout the world. And I'm very excited, very, very, very excited. Gosh, all that caffeine just coming through. To introduce my guest for the day, I got to say this because I was thinking about it on the way home. I Have the Sugars is my favorite like diabetes wordplay, I have to say, like because it's all like diabetes puns are everywhere. So Libby Russell comes on the show from New York City. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me. So before we dive into your story, I Have the Sugars. Where you're sitting around one day, how did it come to be? What's the, you know, give us the story.

[00:02:08] Libby Russell: So I guess for many years, I wanted to have something like some sort of outlet, some sort of place where I could write down everything I was going through. But it all kind of came to fruition one night when I was watching SNL. And Kristen Wiig was playing Paula Deen, who, as we know, has type 2 diabetes. but she was playing her in the kitchen pretending to be whipping up some Paula Deen style recipe with like 18 pounds of hot butter and oil is I think what she said and she kept saying that she had the sugars and kept saying it in this hilarious accent wannabe Paula Deen accent and it stuck for some reason so that's where the name came from but in general the blog kind of came from my experience in college and high school and I'm just wanting to had a lot of feelings back then and I needed a place to put them um and blogging was like not really a thing yet in 2010 to think it was only seven years ago uh so there were many iterations but we finally got to where we are now

[00:03:20] Rob Howe: we did and I mean I love for me because I live in Texas and um and I've I grew up here um even though I traveled around for a while. Like the sugars is a thing. Like that's like, that's a lot of, you know, subculture of, of type 2 diabetes really is that like people know it as the sugars, right? So I remember a couple of years ago hearing this like Lavelle Crawford bit who was, who was Huell on Breaking Bad, I guess most famously. And he was talking about how if he told his grandma that he had diabetes, she wouldn't even bat an eyelash. But if she, but if he told her that he had the sugars that she would freak out like he was dying. So yeah, it was, you know, it's just, it is this like cultural appropriation of type 2, right. But, um, but also still sort of endearing and super funny. So I love, uh, you know, the tongue in cheek piece of it. And, um, and you're right. Like, you know, I think we've all had feelings, right. When that we didn't know where to process, um, you know, you're looking at another outlet of that right now, uh, diabetics doing things right so exactly um yeah and i think now as well you know i talk about this a lot with people is the community online of diabetics and social media and blogs is start is really like almost like critical mass right there's there's a lot of really great people doing awesome stuff it's a densely populated it is but but i think like it's it's dense it may be compared to other things though i think it's just the right amount you know what i mean so yeah totally i don't know if the world needs another fashion blogger. Um, but you know, another story about diabetes, like, cause it'll probably help somebody somewhere. I think super worth it. Totally agree. Okay. So let's back up now that we got that out of the way. I got the, I got the fan boy over your name a little bit. Um, let's talk about you. So let's go back to your, you know, when you got, you know, the, the news that you were going to be diagnosed with type 1, um, and kind of walk

[00:05:17] Libby Russell: us through that. So I was really lucky. I was 17 in the middle of my junior year lacrosse season, starting the process of looking at colleges. I grew up in a small town in Maine called Cumberland, Maine. Yes, just like the gas station. And I was in the process of looking at schools and was on the road a lot with my mom and my dad. And my mom just started noticing like weird symptoms that I was having. And at the time I was in amazing shape. Like I was working out three plus hours a day. So I didn't think anything of it. I just thought I was like extra hydrated and really healthy. I was drinking so much water. I like remember vividly the Nalgene, those big blue Nalgene covered in bumper stickers that I was chugging many times a day. And my mom's like intuitive mom senses went off the charts like something's up so ironically I was really struggling in school in a couple of my afternoon classes which all lined up at the end but um in that you know process of trying to figure out why I was struggling in school I was diagnosed with ADD which like every 17 year old kid has at that point so I was in my pediatrician's office doing like a consultation for that. And my mom was just kind of like, oh, by the way, she's having all these other symptoms. Like, do you think it could be type 1 diabetes? And my doctor was like, no. My mom said, are you sure? Like, let's just test her. And fortunately, my mom pushed my doctor a little bit. And she, we obviously went through the whole shebang. And I went back to lacrosse practice, like really confused or I went back to school and were really confused because I had no idea what type 1 diabetes even was. I didn't know anyone with it. Carried on with myself to lacrosse practice and by the time I came home, I was a type 1 diabetic. Packed my bags, went to the children's hospital where I felt insanely out of place because I was perfectly healthy and functioning in my own opinion. Spent about two days there getting poked and prodded and then it was like back into the wild. So it was a pretty whirlwind time. I was a fairly typical teenager about it. I don't really remember anything other than being really angry. When I was in the hospital, my best friend's mom is a nurse. And she brought me a big block of cheese and said, this is going to be your best friend for the rest of your life. And I was like, it already is. So that was kind of funny because she was sort of like offering me a trade of like carbs for something that I already loved. But yeah, it was rough. It was really confusing. People weren't very nice. Doctors were very unhelpful. And it was a very sterile, unemotional, transactional diagnosis. I was extremely fortunate. I was only, I think my mom said the other day, I was only in like the 300s. And she's guessing it was because I was so active that I was keeping my blood sugars down. But who knows, it could have been one more day, one more week, one more year, even anything could have happened. So very lucky in that regard. Well, and I think too,

[00:08:47] Rob Howe: like, I want to touch on a few things, because that story is awesome. And I think folk hones in a lot of emotions that people go through, right? A lot of different ones too. So I want to start off first of all with like the confusion and like feeling kind of cold and sterile like you don't belong in the hospital right because yeah when I got to I went to children's hospital as well I my blood sugar wasn't super high I wasn't in DKA or anything and I think I even like I woke up New Year's Day like I threw up because I was sick and like drank a little bit of Dr. Pepper to like calm my stomach down because I guess that was a thing.

[00:09:27] Libby Russell: I think I had a Dr. Pepper too that day.

[00:09:29] Rob Howe: What? Whoa. Weird.

[00:09:32] Libby Russell: God damn it, Dr. Pepper, it's your fault.

[00:09:34] Rob Howe: Did we just figure out diabetes? Gosh, type 1 triggers, guys.

[00:09:38] Libby Russell: It's not an autoimmune disease.

[00:09:39] Rob Howe: It is caused by sugary sodas. It's Dr. Pepper, you know, and that's why doctors hate it because, you know, he's a colleague. Yep. um so yeah so i had a i drank a full can of dr pepper went right to the emergent care my blood sugar was only like 400 so um i was like you very fortunate and also when i got to the hospital they gave me a bunch of insulin and saline because i was dehydrated and like immediately i felt a hundred percent better much better right yeah and i was like i was a year younger than you were and in the middle of basketball season and like in good shape and i was like wow yeah i'm ready

[00:10:16] Libby Russell: to go I feel fantastic oh I thought nothing of it I was like okay like I was annoyed at the inconvenience but like I didn't realize the severity of it yeah I mean like it I mean it's

[00:10:31] Rob Howe: and I think for me I thought like once they told me I was going to be okay after after at that point it became sort of like all right well can I go like what's the deal right right yeah and then you know the second thing I want to focus on as well is I too have a like a tiger mom my mom is I am who I am today because of her 100 percent and she like I went back to school the next day I was in the hospital like three nights and school started the next day after I got back she's like yeah you're just gonna go so you know the rumor mill had been floating around I was in the hospital and then I just like show up first day and everybody's like what's what's the deal here

[00:11:10] Libby Russell: oh my god same you know what I remember I remember being pissed I didn't have like a cast or stitches or like crutches like I was so annoyed that I was going back with this like invisible battle scar like talk about total vanity like high school girl where I was like nobody's gonna understand what I just went through because I can't I'm not visibly sick or hurt or like you know and And you go back to your lunch table with all of your friends. And I remember pricking my finger for the first time. And one of my guy friends across the table was like, ew, gross. What are you doing? And I was like, oh, God, here we go.

[00:11:52] Rob Howe: It was like, great, guys. We're so astute with all of our observations, aren't we?

[00:11:58] Libby Russell: Yeah, you remember the weird – but I really – I remember being so bummed that, like, I didn't have anything to show for it. And now I'm like, if only I could take off the thing that I have to show for it.

[00:12:08] Rob Howe: Right. And I was like, I don't have any great story. And all of my friends were curious about what I had to do. So for me, I think my doctors told me to keep my, when I went back to school, keep my test kit and stuff in the office downstairs. And I could go in there before lunch and give myself my shots and things. yeah they like tried to keep me a little bit more sheltered but I of course like just invited like my friends in there so um I had this like very like I guess it was the room if you're having like a panic attack or something or you needed like a like meditation to be away from people you would go to so it's like very serene and I would just go in there and like give myself my shots I need that now yeah right like where's that where's that now 10 years 12 my grown-ups

[00:12:51] Libby Russell: need that too so yeah it was rough it was a rough couple days so from there I think you know you

[00:12:59] Rob Howe: were talking about you went right back to lacrosse practice um you know i and i think i want to stay on moms for a little bit because my mom you know had literally like took it on like she had type 1 as well you know helped me plan all my meals out was helping me count carbs helping me you know go back and forth on you know how much you know reading my charts and going through my meter and really helping me and like she was like overbearing for sure but i want to like focus on that relationship for like diabetics who feel kind of overwhelmed by their parents like over you know over worrying because it's a thing right so um how did you kind of deal with that honestly

[00:13:35] Libby Russell: my parents could not possibly have handled it better and to this day like last night I was on the phone with both of them I make them now be on speaker when they're both home um and they were like you never told us like how hard everything was and it was like because I didn't want to stressed you guys out. I never wanted you to be the parents that started worrying. Like I wanted you to think that I had it under control, which I have always like been quote unquote fine, right? Physically fine, which can become a huge burden on you emotionally and mentally. But, um, they, they're both athletes too. And so they kind of took this on like just another degree of difficulty in whatever game we were playing. So it was kind of like there wasn't a lot of crying. There wasn't a lot of like wallowing in misery. It was like here are the steps we need to take to just integrate this into your life. And at first, you know, it was typical naggy parent stuff like did you test? What was your number? Did you cover? And I, you know, hated it, but I knew they had to ask those questions. um you know every I will never forget like if I had I used to get a lot of loads in the middle of the night because when I was on shot Lantus was like way too much for me when I was playing sports um and I would always hear her a little shuffle down the stairs when I was in the kitchen absolutely gorging myself on like peanut butter and crackers and I would hear her come down the stairs she always sort of was like quietly observing to make sure that I was okay and like she kept a really um amazing distance that was like I always knew if I really needed her I could approach her but she wasn't going to take the responsibility away from me I think I have no idea how she had the intuition to do that I I honestly think it's because my brought my little brother is about three years younger than me he was sick as a baby he had a heart issue and needed open heart surgery like immediately and I don't I think that's such a sobering scary situation that after you go through something that urgent and immediate and acute that like you look at a chronic problem with a much leveler head um so she sort of like took it on as a as a learning experience and sort of like this one day at a time and my dad is like one of the most logical level-headed people and he's a consultant and I always say he's like my personal life consultant because his advice is just so grounding and so whenever I would feel overwhelmed I would actually go to him for like more of the emotional support and my mom for more of the like logistical support um she would always make sure I was stocked up and she would you know there was always a lesson in the uh lacking the proper amount of test strips for the weekend away or not refrigerating my insulin on a trip to a hot beach. Like she was the one that taught me a lot about the responsibility factor of it. And my dad really has continued to be the emotional support, which might be the opposite of a lot of people, I bet, willing to bet.

[00:16:47] Rob Howe: Right. And I think maybe like not necessarily true to type, but you know, like I think everybody has those people, whether it's parents or it's grandparents or it's friends with diabetes or, or even sometimes doctors or whatever, everybody takes that different relationship. But it's nice.

[00:17:05] Libby Russell: It's not all on one person. It's a lot for one person to support.

[00:17:09] Rob Howe: It takes a village, does it not?

[00:17:12] Libby Russell: It's a big village. It's a small city. But yeah, and I think it's important to learn how to distribute your needs in a way that's fair to your friends and your tribe. I've definitely been guilty of leaning too heavily on, you know, one or two people and it's exhausting. It's not fair.

[00:17:30] Rob Howe: It is. And I think, you know, I want to focus on something as well because, you know, you talked about not wanting to worry your parents or cause them to think that you didn't have it under control. Yeah. I think, first of all, like I'm very similar. I never I didn't want people to treat me differently because of my diabetes. So and I think that was for a long time why I wasn't as open about it as I am now. because I didn't want it to attract attention in a way that felt like needy to me, even though that was just projection from my own mind. But so, you know, kind of back to the original point, like you're putting it all on yourself, like know that you're not alone, but also kind of weighing those options. So if you're in your shoes now or, you know, going back and putting yourself in those shoes or in someone who is going through something like that, what advice would you have to them?

[00:18:19] Libby Russell: Well, now it's so different because, I mean, I think with the parents being a little overprotective thing, like technology makes that a little bit more intense, I think, for kids and teenagers, like with Dexcom Share and like there's a lot more snooping parents can do. but I think when you're looking for support of course the whole social media thing has changed the game a thousand fold I mean that's why I started the sugars was because there was nothing absolutely not one peep of someone else I was convinced that like there were three diabetics in the world I think that beyond type 1 is an amazing resource for emotional support for newly diagnosed people um i think they are new but they get it from like a we've lived it we see it we understand that there's such a human element to this that is so necessary to support holistically um and like i would have killed to have that kind of resource when i was younger like it was so strange to go from normal one day and then participating in fundraising walks the next day i was like to me there's just like a massive gaping hole of support that's not being addressed. And I think Beyond Type 1 has done an incredible job sort of like swooping in and filling that. That's kind of where I would say look first, because then you start to put faces to names when you start reading all the articles. And I think a lot of them aren't Type 1s. They're wives, they're brothers, they're sisters, they're children. And you kind of realize the types of roles your own tribe could take on. Like I have certain friends that I talk to about it very, very differently than other friends. Um, just based on like the type of person they are and the type of relationship that I have with them. And I think over time, you also have to be willing to evolve the way you approach it and the way you ask for support. Because I think especially in your late twenties, you realize you're like that peak part of your life where your relationships change pretty frequently. Um, and it's hard. It can be really hard, but yeah, it can be. And I think,

[00:20:34] Rob Howe: you know, I love beyond type 1. They are amazing. Um, I'm so glad that they exist. And I, I want to focus on, you know, when you were saying you started the sugars back in like 2010, I think you said, um, I can't imagine how few resources there were then. Cause in 2015, when I was looking at, I, I told, I tell a story all the time. I hope it's not beating a dead horse, but I was on this trip in Columbia and I couldn't go, I couldn't leave my hotel room some nights because my translator wasn't with me and it wasn't safe. So I had to stay in the hotel room. So I just sat there and, you know, in the, in my hotel room thinking, I was okay, well, what am I going to do with my life? So I was like, oh, well, you know, I want to do something that helps people. Cause that's what makes me happy. And you know, I'm a diabetic, so maybe I can just help my people out. So I went and looked then. And I mean, compared to now, there were like nobody there was a few people like neil great house was one that i found and i found a funny he's so great maybe one of the most giving people uh i've been around too just hilarious um but yeah and i mean now there's there's people that um you know even you and i chatted i think a couple months ago really like it's been a while so um there's a lot more people now but it's still a space that you know there's a lot of us and you know there's people in different rural areas and they're not everybody's social media savvy not everybody's um you know lives in a big city so it's like it's important to remember that you know there's a lot of different resources out there for you to look for um and you know asking the questions and going and seeking out that information and you'll probably find somebody who's at least talking about what

[00:22:11] Libby Russell: you're going through absolutely and that's something that is kind of on my like to-do list I think living in New York is where this is the kind of city where like everybody has something. It's a competitive city, right? Like everybody has a side hustle. Everybody has some sort of passion project. And when I moved here three years ago, I sort of turned the blog upside down. I shook it out. I made it more of like as opposed to me just going on there to vent. I turned it into, I flipped it. At first, it was a selfish project. It was for me to help myself because for so many years I'd just been in my own head and alone and like not able to jam on ideas with anybody. And when I got here, you know, people started to pop up. And, yes, it has to do with the fact that a bazillion people live here. So the odds of meeting other diabetics is far greater. But I really opened up the floor of conversation. But I still feel totally spoiled here. Like I have really, you know, successful people all over the city that are also involved in either JDRF or Beyond Tape One. And, you know, it's almost like a gluttonous support system. Like, you know, celebrities even. Like Sam Talbot is here. If I really needed, you know, high profile people with diabetes, I could easily find them. But then I think like, okay, I'm from a small town in Maine. like there were a couple other kids younger than me that have it but what kind of resources did they have and I know beyond type 1 is trying to do this with their DKA campaign in Pennsylvania but like I really want to try to find a way to sort of I guess infiltrate kind of an aggressive word but get you know get more support even if it is just digital that makes more sense for smaller communities and makes more sense for like, you know, the people that are in that strange age gap between high school or college. And, you know, that's when people are really lost and swirly anyway. And that was when I needed the most help. And I just would love to try to find a way to have a greater presence outside of the major metropolitan East Coast area.

[00:24:20] Rob Howe: So that's on my to do list. Well, you know, I'm sure you're going to find a way to to do that and help with those, you know, organizations as well, because I think organizations are looking to people now. I think right now it's been very visible is One Drop has like done a really nice job in like dropping people meters and like really getting the word out. And it's like, wow, this like company really understands like how to reach type ones because you know, that we connect with each other. And, you know, something that, you know, around the election time, I read an article from the Cracked executive editor talking about, he used the election and like the results and the big data, like fiascos with everyone's predictions to illustrate like a us versus them sort of small town versus big city mentality. And I think, you know, what you're talking about is like a little bit of that, just in a different ways like you know in the if you're in the country if you're in a small town if you've been diagnosed at a small hospital um you may not have the same resources or may not be exposed to the same information and i think um one of my first interviews was with one of my good friends here in dallas and he is from a small town in west texas and his diagnosis experience was like could not have been more different than mine mine was great i was diagnosed at children's in dallas it's awesome it was literally like a three-day vacation on how to treat diabetes and they gave me a ton of advice and resources and material and training and they were very encouraging and I felt great and he was almost the exact opposite like he walked out of there with like he's not going to live past 30 he's going to get his his feet are going to fall off you know just like these terrible things that whether they told him to him directly or not like he came out of there with them. So again, like from there, you know, especially 20 years ago, you walk out of there, that's like, there is no internet for you to go look things up on or try to get a second opinion for yourself. So I think it's a great mission. I don't know, like there's, if there's one, one, like whatever, 1.25 or almost one and a half million type ones in the US, not everybody's in the big cities, right? So we got to help our country brothers and sisters out.

[00:26:39] Libby Russell: yeah I mean it's scary too like even here in New York like I don't know if you know um and it sounds so I sound so snobby saying that even here in New York but like it is true that there's just so many hospitals here and they hold each other to incredibly high standards but even even some of our pals here have had horrible experiences and it's just a matter of getting the word out that you know it's 2017 like we're not all going to have our feet fall off can you maybe not tell a kid that when getting diagnosed like holy crap like I had a horrible diabetes educator when I first got diagnosed she I felt like she hated me that she like wanted me to suffer and you know it I think being a being a diabetes educator is a tough job in and of itself but just like it's I don't know that people are terribly attracted to that type of role. That's why so many diabetics are diabetes educators. I met an amazing one this weekend. But she even said, people suck. And people are behind. And there aren't the resources. And it has to be from the ground up because it's just not a sexy thing. It's not where the money is. It's not where the most competitive doctors are. It just is what it is. And that's why I think that the whole community on social media has become so powerful because, you know, think about all the people that are struggling to say, for example, that girl Esme who couldn't get a pump because her insurance company kept denying her. And her parents emailed Beyond Type 1 and it became this massive social media campaign to like bang on UnitedHealthcare's door. And I think that's the kind of stuff that's really cool and inspiring. It's like we have to fend for ourselves. And I love it and I hate it because I'm always so inspired by the success stories. But sometimes I'm like, oh, someone please pay attention to us.

[00:28:39] Rob Howe: It's like you said, it's not sexy. It's not the, you know, it's chronic. Like you said, you know, it's chronic. It's not there isn't this big, you know, come home with a cast. There's no chemo. And I'm not trying to downplay those or say that they're better. It's just the reality when you're raising awareness for something where everybody looks so normal. and can still do all the same things that they did before, it's a challenge. And I think the thing that I like about so many diabetics becoming diabetes educators is because they have a heart for each other. Yeah. And they know the stories and they know what they're going through. But I'll say this about the type 1 diabetes community. We've got to get better at our logos, guys. We've got to really – Oh, my God. We've got to get better. And I think we –

[00:29:24] Libby Russell: Your website is pretty dope. I have to say, you've done very well.

[00:29:28] Rob Howe: Thank you. I appreciate that. I just like, and I sound so snobby when I say that as like a design snob. But I just, I was like, we're better than this, guys. We could do this together.

[00:29:37] Libby Russell: Yeah, that's part of the reason why I was like a, pardon my French, like a fly on shit to be on type 1. Because I was like, what is this beautiful, sexy, modern, like, honest, disruptive organization? Like, I've never seen anything like this before, you know? And it was really appealing to see something that just like was colloquial and modern and totally aligned. And I think our generation is going to like blow shit up. I think we are, because we're so tech savvy and because we know how to make things, you know, very marketable, I think it will be easier for us to sort of transform. Because you're right, like no offense to some of the other organizations, but it doesn't it it's not the old days where like a nice logo costs a lot of money like it it really doesn't it just takes a good eye and a little bit of good taste so and i think you but

[00:30:33] Rob Howe: the reason that beyond type 1 felt that way for me as well i was like oh these people know me like they know they know what i want like they understand the things that i like outside of

[00:30:44] Libby Russell: diabetes and they made this look like that and like fun and like something that's cool to be a part of like I felt like such a child being involved with other ones I felt like I was being talked down to or that it was like part of some weird stuffy research that like you know I wasn't ready to be a part of that kind of world yet until fairly recently you know it's it's tough but you're

[00:31:11] Rob Howe: right and I and I think like some of the companies are starting to get that yeah like one drop good glucose all these like new sort of startup vibe yeah and i think that's just indicative of like the nature of sort of businesses in general but even like uh because like obviously nick jonas is a is a part of beyond type 1 and one of like the founding members and uh like he partners with dexcom and i saw this dexcom ad the other day and it's like nick jonas lifting up his abs and his like dexcom is like right on his six pack and i'm just like i'm like damn you get me he's like you get me Dexcom you get what we want Nick Jonas can make us cool yeah yeah well I keep my Dexcom on my six-pack too so I totally is there even another place for it honestly yeah no six-pack

[00:31:57] Libby Russell: only if you don't have a six-pack you can't have yeah it just it doesn't work the same I would assume that the Dexcom really hurts if you are applying it to your six-pack I gotta I gotta

[00:32:08] Rob Howe: get Nick Jonas on the podcast and and find that out because I think he I think you might be right yeah so um so like now like we're we're in this modern age and you said that you know you're you weren't really comfortable going into the research piece of things until recently um you know what are you looking forward to you know you mentioned that this generation of diabetics and like the technology and the design and like the the things that are available you're encouraged by that what are you what specifically what are you hopeful for

[00:32:36] Libby Russell: oh I think what I'm hopeful for is I just think there's going to be a lot more emotional support I think for me that's the hardest part right it's like yes I can add my carbs I can I can you know treat a low but there's something to the concept of diabetes burnout that is so big on my radar just because I personally struggle with that so much. Like I'm an ambitious person. I'm an energetic person. I'm a social person. And, you know, diabetes can really take those three things away from me if I let it. And, um, you know, that's kind of, for me, having the sugars becomes a double edged sword in that part, because I'm sure you feel this way too. it's like having your passion project also be inspired by an illness that can make you absolutely miserable can be a lot sometimes but I'm I'm hopeful for the fact that all of these conversations and all of this honesty like I feel like all of a sudden this whole generation of type ones is like coming out of their shell and we're starting to understand like some of the ways to support that side of it, whether it's just through different types of counseling or different types of conversations or different types of social meetups and interactions. That side of it is the side that is the toughest to tackle from a chronic perspective. To be honest, I've never, and this might make me sound like a pessimist, but I've never had my heart set on like a hardcore cure because this is America it's 2017 like we've all seen the climate of big pharma and politics like let's be real here it's a it's a far shot and so I don't feel totally optimistic that like there will be a day where I can eat pasta and bread and you know sour patch kids without having to do anything um i appreciate that things are moving along but from a technological perspective but it's things like good glucose and and one drop like i love that the gap is closing um for access like we were literally just talking about to the right tools i think that will help tremendously with the mental health component of it um i think i think we're kind of like finding a lot of holes in the support system and i'm interested to see what in like the next two three years what new holes uh present themselves but even just like think about the dexcom like that this is a big deal like yeah i used to go like six seven hours without testing in college i had no clue what my blood sugar was and now if i don't check every 20 minutes, you know, it's a very new behavior. My fear is that we're becoming as obsessed with it as we are with everything else in our phones. And that's going to just add to the stress and the pressure. So I'm interested to see like the checks and balances that we start to set and like the boundaries we set for ourselves going forward with, you know, upswing of technology and the upswing of support, but also the increase in obsession and type control. And, you know, I've even noticed a sense of like competition on Instagram. Oh, man. People, I'm talking to you. Stop bragging about your blood sugars. It's one thing to give yourself a pat on the bat for a good day, because let's be honest with ourselves. But like the perpetual Dex Graph posters, it's tough. because you start to compare yourself to them. And it becomes just like any other blogging world or any other Instagram influencer world where you're trying to measure your success against somebody else's. And I think at the end of the day, we forget that this is a disease. It is. Guys, we're not trying to get a promotion. This isn't a job where you can work your way up the chain. It's a disease. So I think we need to be really careful and gentle with each other and respectful. but I do think that it, I think in the next like two years when everybody levels out from like adjusting to the Dexcom and adjusting to these sexy new meters and, and potentially getting more involved in the closed-loop-ish type of pump system, I'll be interested to see where we all met out. Sorry. That was a very long answer.

[00:37:19] Rob Howe: No, no, it was great. And I, you know, I purposely asked those like leading questions just so we can pull these good, good things out because I think the first thing I want to say is like you talked about your parents and the the role that they took in like emotional support my dad uh told me years ago like probably almost 10 years ago now like the the most surefire way to ensure you'll forever be unhappy is to compare yourself to other people and I like the people joy like and I can and I can absolutely like I've said that every month or you know sometimes on a weekly basis since then but I I wish I would have taken that advice more to heart sometimes because it's so easy to look to the right, to the left and say like at every level you get to, whether it's like health or in like a career or anything else, you like look to the right and the left and like someone else has something you don't have.

[00:38:07] Libby Russell: Yeah.

[00:38:08] Rob Howe: And it's such a trap. And you talked about like this being the generation that can change a lot of things for type 1, but you know, as a generation, we are so guilty of, of like destroying ourselves through that anxiety of stuff that we have no control over. and, you know, looking and checking and holding onto those things so tightly. So, of course, there's burnout. Of course, there's because we have more access because we like our edges are sharp. And like we we see these numbers and we see these, you know, whether it's money, whether it's an A1C, whether it's just a daily blood sugar, whatever the case. Yeah. A number on a scale, a size dress, whatever it is like we are so, so, so like slaves to those numbers because we have access to them, you know, number of likes or whatever. Like, you know, you'll look at a, you talked about, you know, all those other bloggers, like you certainly like in the first 20 minutes, if it's not really performing, delete it and start over. Yeah. I mean, it's like, so.

[00:39:05] Libby Russell: It's all artificial. It is.

[00:39:06] Rob Howe: And so I think like what we need is, you know, really like make sure we know what matters and to like, look at that, like with a soft focus and say like, the only way I'm going to make this, and it's almost like sobriety, right? If you're coming out of a 12-step program or something, you can only stay sober that day. And it's just like I can only be – I can only take care of my type 1 diabetes one minute at a time, one meal, one morning, one day, whatever it is. And I just know that tomorrow I'm going to have to do that in some way. And I tend to agree with you. My doctors told me within 20 years we'll probably have a cure. I mean we're pretty close. We got some cool shit coming out, some cool technology, right? I want to be surprised when it happens. Yeah. I want to be like, okay, yeah, I'll do that. I've said it before. I want to be a part of a huge community of former diabetics. How fun would that be?

[00:40:01] Libby Russell: It's so crazy.

[00:40:02] Rob Howe: But also, giving ourselves a break and be like, man, 20 years ago, all we had was needles. We needed to have pens or whatever.

[00:40:12] Libby Russell: You need to pee in a cup to test your blood sugar.

[00:40:14] Rob Howe: Awful. Can't even imagine how gross that would be on a daily basis. If anything, diabetes has become so much less gross that I'm ecstatic.

[00:40:26] Libby Russell: It's not gross anymore. You're right. But to your point, we put a tremendous – I literally – it's kind of crazy that I'm talking to you about this today because last night when I was talking to my parents, they were like, you need to give yourself a break. Like, the amount of pressure that we put on ourselves now to stay between two stupid lines, it's not sustainable. So I think we need to just remind ourselves, like, you got to just accept your own best. And if it means you grab an extra handful of goldfish on your way out the door, like, you can't beat yourself up. I'm saying that because I'm looking at a bag of goldfish out of the corner of my eye. But like you can't take that emotion home with you. Like that is, it consumes you when you let it get to you like that. And I am so guilty of letting it get to me that I go through periods where like I have to tone down the blog. Or I have to just not go on Instagram for a little while because I know I'm susceptible to it. I'm a very easily impressionable person. and I think when you are so sensitive, you just have to bury yourself in other stuff about your life that you love. Bury yourself in it. Go play basketball for an hour and just turn your Dexcom off and if you get a low, you fix it and you remind yourself that for 15 years you've been fixing lows and I have to give myself this pep talk all the time. You know what you're doing. stop acting like you don't all of a sudden not you know after 12 years you suddenly don't know how to have diabetes would be a load of bullshit so i think we just somehow have to find a way to be safe and stay in control but without becoming like total sociopaths but also i think what you

[00:42:16] Rob Howe: what you just said is so important like yeah you struggle oh and you're and you're very visible you do a lot of great work and like uh and you have helped people and people look to you for things as well so like we're nobody's perfect like it's very we live in this curated world um even more so on like the blog and and like social media side like it's it's great to humanize like what really is going on like it's hard and like i i i'll mention i'll say i'll tell this story maybe for the rest of my life like and it happened to me really recently like I had this chicken sandwich that was so good like it wasn't even like that like on paper it didn't even look like it had that many carbs like it was probably just like 40 carbs with the fries like not a big deal it absolutely crippled my blood sugar for the rest of the day like just sent me into like the worst highs I'd had in months and just took my energy out and I was like man this chicken sandwich like i cannot let this thing beat me yeah like and it just i don't know it's a metaphor for it but it's just like you know that i couldn't have prepared any better for that and it just

[00:43:25] Libby Russell: happened so it's a sandwich isn't that crazy we have like raging anxiety over a goddamn sandwich

[00:43:33] Rob Howe: and don't get me wrong it was delicious like but it's probably a great sandwich and it was

[00:43:40] Libby Russell: day of your life where like, you know what? It didn't go so well today. And you know, the rest

[00:43:45] Rob Howe: of that day was totally fine. You know, once it was like about five hours of just high blood sugar, but like, and yeah, it was, it was just, oh my gosh, like I'll never, I just, I'm glad that you told that story because you know, it's hard and it's a, it's a battle. It's a grind. It's a, you know, people say it's like not a sprint. It's a marathon when they're like a month long project. yeah um and then today in like the you know one of my friends and i we talk about like 2017 is quick fix culture like everybody's looking for like what's the what's the hack what's the quickest way to get to where i want to be and diabetes is a good lesson like to hey slow down like this isn't going anywhere um and you know the only way for you to you know really be at peace with it is just take it one step at a time yeah um totally i i when i'm in a good place

[00:44:38] Libby Russell: with it it's because it's like almost invisible like it just becomes as routine as brushing my teeth like when have you ever let brushing your teeth get to you uh never you just do it and hopefully twice hopefully you know and it's the same as your blood sugar like to think now that people are striving for below six a1c's like publicly and aggressively i'm like i just i'm i probably am way off here but i'm guessing that people didn't used to be this aggressive because it wasn't quite so public and like we held ourselves to different standards because we had different resources and i totally understand that we obviously need to take primo care of ourselves but like if we're crippling our happiness on the account of being below a six like forget it yeah there are probably some type ones out there that have a better a1c than non diabetics at this point because like and i just i i'm not that person i don't have that kind of discipline and i'm driven by different stuff i guess but man like if i crumble under the pressure to stay below seven, I don't know how other people do it. Bless their hearts. Yeah. And, you know,

[00:45:55] Rob Howe: it's so, on one hand, I'm like, I'm really glad that those numbers are achievable for people, especially with technology. I think that continuous glucose monitoring is a big part of that. And, you know, obviously like health and wellness and fitness and things like people have more education now than they've ever had. Um, and I think that's good. And I, I, but I agree with you, like, it's not, and, and sometimes I have to like take my own, take myself out of it a little bit. Like I'm like, I've always, I've been an athlete. I've always been a competitor, but it's like, this is not something that I've ever wanted to feel competitive about because it's a, it's like, I don't know. I, it's, it's my struggle, right? Like I, and for myself, like, I think I put, I had my best a1c in like five years uh on my last and like 6.1 so I'm like I feel great like that's I feel that's amazing it's an it's an awesome and I like gave myself a pat on the back um but it's real easy because I see every day in the Instagram feed there's a 5.5 here's like a 5.2 I'm like shit those people are doing really great like but it's theirs it's theirs not mine right

[00:47:00] Libby Russell: Also, there's nothing to win.

[00:47:03] Rob Howe: Exactly.

[00:47:04] Libby Russell: As an athlete, you know when this is a pointless competition. Winning is the best part of competition, and there's no prize. Maybe an A1C is a nice, keep on trucking, but some doctors don't even think A1Cs are valid because you could spend 50% of your time 60 and 50% of your time 300, and you'll still have a 7A1C. I'm like that's not good either so I don't we need to stop we need to stop everyone needs to chill

[00:47:35] Rob Howe: and I think like acceptance you know and I'm and I've been on this big like kick of you know really working on like I've just did 62 straight days of meditation I'm really looking like acceptance and being grateful and like I'm on this journey and I'm like and I'm loving it it's great but like the things that we're bad at are like the most as a culture are like the things that make us unhappy. Those bad habits are literally the cause of our problems.

[00:48:03] Libby Russell: We just don't see it. I think meditation and mindfulness is something everyone needs to do. Realizing that that's a major thing that's missing from my daily routine. It's just slowing. Because our brains are literally I joke all the time that a diabetic's brain looks like that scene in The Matrix. It's just numbers floating everywhere.

[00:48:27] Rob Howe: because we're just a bunch of little like data data scientists taking like real-time feedback making decisions like strategizing like it's a it's like a very applicable skill and we're doing it all the time for our body like i i was somebody who knew i should have been meditating for years right and i had tried probably like the last time i tried was maybe 2014 where i would just like sit in a chair for 10 minutes and just sit there but uh one of my friends recommended like this headspace app and I've been trying to get everybody on it since then because I've literally and it has a little bit of competitiveness in it because it gives you like a streak and it tells you like hey we'll see you tomorrow so it's like oh yeah I better do this yeah but yeah I don't know it's just like it's it was striking to me how different taking 10 minutes out of the day and just sitting there and thinking about like being present in your body like how different that was than the way I was living. Really? It's only 10 minutes. And like, and so yeah, I didn't worry about blood sugars. I didn't worry about work. I didn't think about any I didn't think about whatever other projects I was working on. And I'm a person that loves to be busy. Anybody that knows me is like, yeah, what does Rob Howell love? He loves doing stuff. I'm with you. Are you an extrovert? Oh, yeah. But also, I have introverted moments as well. So social anxiety through the roof. But

[00:49:47] Libby Russell: Also, don't leave me alone for too long.

[00:49:50] Rob Howe: Right, yeah. Yeah, I need somebody around on 100 for sure. So, yeah.

[00:49:56] Libby Russell: Yeah, Headspace. We've got to find a way to, like, bring Headspace into the diabetes world because I think you're right. I think it's an incredibly powerful tool.

[00:50:04] Rob Howe: It is. So kind of as we're starting to, I mean, wow, where did the time go? This is a great interview. So happy that you came on. It's me a lot. So if you had the question that I always ask, Like if you, you know, you have the sugars blog, like you've been writing for a long time. Um, if you had to boil it all down to like one thing that, you know, you would say to someone who was struggling, if you were like going to jump on a plane, you had like 15, 30 seconds to like tell them something like, what would it be?

[00:50:37] Libby Russell: oh i think i think i would say something along the lines of almost what we were just talking about like especially if this person was about to run off and go do something amazing it's like focus on focus on the real stuff like don't let diabetes be let me think of the way to articulate this because I'm such a hypocrite when it comes to this but I guess I would say to them what I try to say to myself which is don't let it win like if we are going to talk about competition diabetes wins when you cry over something when you beat yourself up because you refilled your test trip supply too late. When you yell at a random person at your health insurance company on the phone, they win when you don't bolus properly because you're so petrified of a low that you run high all day. It wins when you don't approach relationships honestly. It has a lot of opportunity to win. And we as human beings don't have as many windows of opportunity to fight back. And so I guess my advice would just be to find like three things or people in your life that you can really, really focus on mattering the most to you and like love them so much that they take up all the space of just like things you care about. Because that's something that I'm working on right now is, like you said, it's mindfulness, it's gratitude, it's passion projects that allow your brain to just take off on a tropical, whimsical vacation. You know, just surround yourself with positivity and things that lift you up because this shit isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Your blood sugar is always going to be a thing that exists. You cannot turn it off. So you might as well supplement it with just like cool stuff, like actionable goals, good people that make you laugh holy crap maybe that's what it is we had to really call it down to one thing find a way to make yourself laugh really hard a couple times a day because it can get really heavy and it can get really dark and it can get really intense and the only way to break through that is by just like lightening the mood so like find a stupid video of a puppy on the internet if that's what you need talk to your friend that like just doesn't have their shit together in life and they crack you up every time just something that will like break the tension because if you internalize all that stress and all that pressure like it's not good and it doesn't end well so i think finding ways to just break it up is is really the only the only thing that's not i wouldn't have time to say that to someone yeah i think you missed your flight just now but so this person's no longer going on their trip basically lighten the mood find stuff you're passionate about, surround yourself with people that you love, like, to death, so much so that, like, you're just exploding with joy every time you see them, even if it's just one person or a thing. Like, I love my palm tree and my apartment. I bought a palm tree, because it makes me so unbelievably happy when I'm around it. Like, that kind of stuff. It doesn't have to be, like, you need a boyfriend, because you don't. But, like, I think it's important to, like, collect things and experiences and relationships that just like remind you that you're human at the

[00:54:27] Rob Howe: end of the day that was deep but i you know what you know what's great like uh a lot of options now yeah i have so many options like even i was like oh my gosh this might be quotable i have to pull some quotes from this and i was like oh well i gotta i don't have a there's like 12 instagram

[00:54:43] Libby Russell: posts all in one right but you make it just a whole month dedicated to my blabbering perfect

[00:54:48] Rob Howe: yeah that's what I need that's why you're here but I love that none of that had anything to do with numbers or diabetes

[00:54:56] Libby Russell: no because like it just it sucks always like it literally is always going to suck and it's always going to be hard and you're always going to want something you can't have and you're always going to feel like a little scared about stuff and I think to just supplement it with positivity and things you know you can succeed at and accomplish like it's the only way you can make that sucky stuff feel smaller you know you can't give it power

[00:55:23] Rob Howe: no you can't and and i think that's you know that's when you win you know we talked about winning and you know that's those are those moments where uh those few opportunities that you have as a person to win against that uh against that you know all ever present you know diabetes opponent yeah libby libby you are dope you are dope i'm so glad we uh we got to link up and have this conversation um i'm so sorry i make people's editing jobs very difficult because i'm such a rambler no i you know what's great like something that i learned like because i was very like i would go and i would edit real hard my first few episodes and then i started i got into like tim ferris's podcast and i was like god this guy talks to people for like two and a half hours and he's not worried about any of them and he has like the most downloaded podcast ever So I was like, you know what? We can ramble. Let's ramble. And I'm so glad you came on to do that. Like, I love all the work that you're doing with the sugars and with events. And I see you popping up all the time. And I know that's, I know what type of work and dedication that takes. So thank you for doing it. And, you know, I'm excited to, I imagine if everything keeps going as planned, we'll eventually run into each other one of these days. I look forward to that.

[00:56:41] Libby Russell: Yeah, me too. I've never really spent much time in Texas, so plan some sort of thing down there and I'll find an excuse to come to Texas.

[00:56:50] Rob Howe: Perfect. And I will do the same. I love New York and I don't go there enough.

[00:56:55] Libby Russell: It's about to be the best time to come.

[00:56:57] Rob Howe: That's true.

[00:56:58] Libby Russell: More a week, New York won't be crappy anymore.

[00:57:02] Rob Howe: Well, I'm going to have to take you up on it. So for those of you, I know we've talked about it a lot, but for people who want to follow you who don't already, plug your profiles.

[00:57:15] Libby Russell: So I'm definitely most active on the old Instagrams at I Have the Sugars, all lowercase, no spaces, no slashes. and I also have a blog on IHaveTheSugars.com where you can do stuff like buy dope t-shirts and stickers and read more things about diabetes.

[00:57:38] Rob Howe: Fantastic. And we'll include a link, obviously, to all that in the show notes for everybody to click there as well.

[00:57:46] Libby Russell: Awesome. Thanks for listening to Diabetics Doing Things. Subscribe to our newsletter for weekly emails and behind the scenes content. And if you or someone you know has an amazing story to share, send an email to rob at diabeticsdoingthings.com.