Diabetics Doing Ups, Downs and the Party Lifestyle

[00:00:07] Rob Howe: Welcome to the Diabetics Doing Things podcast. We've been telling the amazing stories of type 1 diabetics all across the world since 2015, and we have over a thousand years of living with T1D on the podcast. The interviews range from incredible feats to everyday victories, and we celebrate them all just the same. Thanks for listening, and if you want to get involved even further, just send me an email at rob@diabeticsdoingthings.com. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Diabetics Doing Things. We are telling the amazing stories of type 1 diabetics from all across the world. My very special guest, joining me tonight from San Diego, California, is Kayla Naeini. And many of you guys will know her as Frenchie Gang on Instagram. I think I've seen a lot of conversations and a lot of interactions in the type 1 community between Kayla and other guests on this show. Kayla, welcome to the show.

[00:01:20] Kayla Naeini: Thank you for having me. I'm really honored to be a part of this. This is something I've wanted to talk about for a long time, so I can't wait to start and tell my story.

[00:01:29] Rob Howe: Well, great. Let's just jump right in then. So, Kayla, why don't you tell us a little bit about your diagnosis, a little bit about yourself, where you're from, and we'll kind of go from there.

[00:01:40] Kayla Naeini: All right. So I am from a small town in California. It's a Santa Barbara area. And that's, you know, every whole life since we grew up and growing up, I knew no diabetics. I didn't there. I was educated on it. I knew nothing about it. And I was 16 when I got diagnosed. But what happened to me was I noticed that my body was changing. I was losing so much weight rapidly. My vision was messed up. Like I couldn't see anything. If I look at something, as hard as I tried to concentrate, I couldn't tell what it was. And I was just peeing nonstop, like dehydrated, moody. I knew there was something wrong, but I thought maybe I'm going through puberty. I'm 16. Like, I was also in the same, like, you know, not, I was drinking, like, you know, I was 16, but I was also like drinking and stuff and going out. So the day before I got diagnosed, I was out, you know, at a party drinking 16 years old. Like, that's what I did in a small town. We weren't the best of kids. So when I was drinking the next day, my stomach hurt so bad. It's just, I mean, it was like later pains. so I knew then and there after months of ignoring my symptoms I told my mom this is the worst thing ever my mom was just like let's go to the doctor okay we got to figure out what's wrong do enough is like you look like shit and I felt like so she took me to the doctor and the doctor what's funny is the doctor that I've been going to all my whole life her son has type 1 diabetes so when I went in there you know knowing nothing about diabetes they do a blood test whatever and she comes back and she goes yeah you have type 1 diabetes and I'm just going to let you process this and I'm going to shut the door she literally told me this it was like I have cancer or something so to me I was just like okay process it what am I processing I know nothing about this like okay okay and uh so my mom's like okay caleb you're gonna go to the hospital for some time we don't know how long pack your bags and like get ready for what's what's coming we have no idea what's coming i mean absolutely no clue like diabetes was nothing i again nothing i knew about so i go to the hospital and i'm like 20 pounds like lighter than i should be i'm like low 90s like people at school thought I was on drugs like they just thought I didn't show up to school and I was on drugs like little did I know I'm literally going blind and dying like all I wanted to do was drink as much water as I could pee all the time and like it was just the worst thing ever when they admit me they tell me you know you're gonna have to give yourself injections to live and you're gonna have to you know prick your finger and you'd have to watch what you're eating And I'm like, what? I'm like, no, I'm not. I hate needles. Like, there's no way I'm doing this. The nurse was like, we're not going to let you out until you inject yourself. There's no way you're going home. So I had no choice but to do this. And nobody's ever done it for me. So I had to do it myself. And it's like, and that, you're just in shock. You don't think about it. You're just like, I just want to get out of here. Like, I mean, what's going on? So I'm kind of in denial about it. Like, you know, what the hell is going on?

[00:05:33] Rob Howe: So I want to focus on before we move forward, I want to talk a little bit about a very unique situation that your doctor had a son with type 1. I think you're right. It can be very, you know, staggering. I mean, a lot of us don't know anything about type 1 when we're diagnosed. I would say most of us. and you know in that moment you're like yeah of course process what what am I processing I'm not sure exactly what I'm dealing with yeah after after you had that moment and you know as they're going through the education process and obviously like we're not going to let you go until you give yourself an injection do you remember what the doctor said or you know about your life and and things that were, you know, how you, where do you go from here?

[00:06:21] Kayla Naeini: No, they just, they just literally was like, your life is going to be different. But like, they didn't give me guidance, which was weird. Like her son, you know, had this, but she gave me no guidance. She's just like, you're going to go to the emergency room. Like, and this is what's going to happen. Like she didn't, you know, nobody gave me guidance at all. They're just like, here's what you need. Here's the supplies, like emotionless about it. super emotionless. Like this is what you do. Um, there was actually a kid in the next room. I'll never forget this. There was a kid in the next room and I go, I don't want to give myself these shots. And she goes, there's a kid in the next room younger than you. And he's doing it now. And he got diabetes. If you don't do it, you know, that's a little bad on your part because you're older than him. You know, he can do it. You can do it. And I was like, okay, all right. All right. Just give me the needle. Get me out of here. Right. And I think, you know,

[00:07:13] Rob Howe: That's super important when you're establishing your relationship with your new disease that you don't know anything about. Yeah. I think as a teen, I was super, I was a teenager when I was diagnosed as well. I was with the same age as you. You know, you're in that rebellious phase. You don't want to hear anything like you're too, I was way too cool to go to diabetes camp or anything like that. So I think, you know, it's a challenging age for acceptance. and those first few moments are so critical to me and I think so many of the guests have have confirmed that for me and so you know it seems like you know the less because you got less information because you got a sort of emotionally detached response you know you

[00:07:58] Kayla Naeini: started off with a at least defensive outlook on everything yeah totally I believe that the way you perceive your diabetes in the beginning and the traits that you make and the repetitions we do are all from the beginning. It's all the things that, you know, we did the first time, the first couple of fingers that we always prick the same fingers. That's from when we got diagnosed. That didn't magically happen. Like we do the same things. We're paranoid because of things that were from the beginning told to us. Like, you know, my doctor was always really tough on how many times I checked my sugar and just traumatized me and made me never want to check my sugar because he was so like mean about it. Like he'd ask me, why would you have a high this high? Why would you have a low this low? Like looking through my meter. So I thought it was a punishment to check blood sugar until literally 10 years of having diabetes. Well, and I think, you know, again,

[00:08:55] Rob Howe: you know, it's so nuanced. And like you said, all of those, it's just like a foundation. If you build a foundation off of, you know, something that's not strong or something that's negative, uh, you're going to have a negative consequences from that. And, um, I want to focus on that too. So, you know, you obviously gave yourself the injection, left the hospital. Um, you, you then go on and, and, and return to school and to your normal life, uh, which you had talked a little bit about you're, uh, in a small town and kind of partying and doing the small, living the small town life. Yeah. So what was what were the first few months, years, you know, late in your high school years like for you making decisions and adjusting to life with diabetes?

[00:09:42] Kayla Naeini: I think because back when I got it, I got it in 2006. We didn't have like a community like we do now. So I was the only diabetic that I knew. Adjusting for me was just all I knew was being alone most of my life. So I just, you know, wing it and just try to figure it out. But, you know, having it when you're 16, everything is still, you're still figuring out everything new in life too. So when diabetes comes with it, like, you know, everything, all my new experiences, the diabetes are coming with it. So you got to enjoy your youth because you didn't have it, but then your adolescent years and that you're knowing and that knowledge you're growing is all coming with your diabetes and that's what's different getting it old in in adolescent years compared to being a child and being in for an adult you know getting diabetes well and you know

[00:10:38] Rob Howe: like you said there was no community I really do believe right now we're in this sort of t1d renaissance where we don't have those feelings where it's almost impossible if you're really looking, it's impossible to be alone with type 1. Um, you know, you can find somebody like you. Uh, and that's why we have the podcast. That's why we have all these great people out there doing, uh, amazing things as well as these different organizations that will literally give you someone to connect with, uh, with type 1. And because of, you know, phones and email and social media, we can do that. But 10 years ago, 12 years ago, 15 years ago, it wasn't like, we didn't have that yeah we didn't have that and it can make a big it can make a big effect on uh on your outlook especially especially as a team because i think something that's really important and one of the reasons why we're in this t1d renaissance is because before as a kid or a teenager you'd only have really two authorities you know influencing your type 1 you have your doctor uh 50 50 i'd say 50 50 crapshoot whether you have a good a doctor with a good bedside manner who's really educated on type 1. Um, and you know, maybe one who just has a lot of other patients and a lot of other stuff to do and doesn't really have the time to guide you through it. Uh, you could be in a small town, the hospital doesn't have the resources. There's a million reasons. Uh, and then, and then you have your parents. So as a teen, especially you're immediately don't want to do what your doctor says, especially if you don't like them. Uh, and two, you're also not going to do what your

[00:12:07] Kayla Naeini: parents want because you're a teenager. Well, it was weird because when I was 16, you know, they're at that point where you need to do everything on your own. You're old enough. So for me, my parents don't know how to check my blood sugar. My parents don't know how to give me shots. They never heard. It was me. They may be really independent about it. So when I got diabetes, I never had my mom being like, you can't eat that. You shouldn't eat that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I had a mom really understanding being like, you need to live like a normal person, Like take insulin, like, you know, don't pig out like crap. But I lived with a healthy mother too. That also is like Italian that is health oriented. So I, I don't like my diet was that much off. Like, yeah, I couldn't have a candy and so that much, um, but I didn't have somebody micromanaging my diabetes. So I think that made me feel better too, because I didn't have people just breathing down my neck about what my sugars were. so well I don't know I think that's that was cool I think that's a good transition into the next

[00:13:14] Rob Howe: portion of our conversation because micromanaging the diabetes of your teen so I've met now in the last couple years being very involved in the t1d community I've met a lot of parents who many of which are incredible almost all of them are actually incredible they the way that they deal with what they're going through with their kids or their teens or their young adult children is fantastic. They do so much to raise awareness and raise money. But I will say that there are, you know, a couple of different schools of thought on parenting, obviously, and then also parenting a type 1. So, and micromanaging your diabetes is one of the things that, especially as you get into those teen years, maybe 12 to 17, where you're still living at home, you're still going to school. Um, you're still under their authority. Right. And they, and you know, for the most part you're, you know, they're hopefully not giving you anything that's like, you know, detrimental to your health. Like, like you said, you had an advantage of a mother who was health conscious and, um, and was aware of what you was putting, she was putting on the table and what you guys are putting in your body. I was a very similar. I think that's a huge advantage. Um, advantage is right but you know there's also the and now especially with technology and things like Dexcom share um and Nightscout where parents are able to see blood sugars at any time yeah from

[00:14:41] Kayla Naeini: I just recently learned about that too I know about that and that could be a blessing and a

[00:14:46] Rob Howe: curse for people you know oh absolutely and I and I think that I'd say it's like 70 30 blessing uh But at the same time, causes a lot of worry and anxiety to parents. And I think even my own girlfriend, as I show her my CGM numbers on my phone, if I'm a little bit high, she'll ask why and she's curious. And it's like, well, a 200, 220 in the middle of the day doesn't feel good, but it's not the end of the world, right? It's not worried. It ain't that bad. Right, right.

[00:15:22] Kayla Naeini: It ain't that bad. We could have worse days. For sure. For sure. So it's like, we'll take the low 200s today.

[00:15:29] Rob Howe: Yeah. And I think, and I think you just have to be ready to have those soft edges and kind of roll with the punches because I've had a very, I'll be honest. I've had a very difficult week. I think I got some insulin that was bad from the pharmacy. So my ratios are all off. And I didn't really realize it. It was like the last thing on my list that I check, but it's been a frustrating couple of days and I've had some weird highs and some weird lows and I've been eating really good and just, and exercising normally. Um, and that's just one of those curve balls that diabetes throws you. Anyway, back to the point. Um, you know, if you're waking up in the middle of the night as a parent and you're looking at your, uh, your numbers on your phone of your child, um, and you're, you know, going, waking them up and, and, and I think, you know, in an emergency situation, you're good. Um, but if you're worried, if you're calling them at school all the time and you're, and you don't understand the causes of the lows, you're not working with them. You can build up a wall of resistance there, um, really easily. And it's a fine line to walk. And I'm not, I'm for sure not telling anyone how to parent because every child is different. Um, every parent has their different philosophy. And I think every circumstances and every day, every circumstance and every day is different with type 1. So, uh, it's just one of those things that's difficult to wrap your mind around until you've experienced it for a little while. So, um, all that to say, I, you know, I think the non micromanaging and not committing to that micromanaging or committing to not micromanaging is super important, especially as it comes to the late teen years. So let's talk a little bit about graduation from high school. You went to college or university away from home?

[00:17:10] Kayla Naeini: No, I did not. So let me tell you my story. So growing up, I always thought I would never go to college. I would never go to school. So I don't know why. I just never thought that that's something I wanted to do. So what I did is I was in a small town. Like I said, we were from a small town. We partied. I went to Vegas when I turned 21. So that's where I went. I started working, like serving drinks. And I was there and drinking. And there was all these things around me. And I had to manage that with my diabetes. So that was a curveball itself to live in that city and then have to manage it. But I've survived. I mean, living there made me go back to school, and I've graduated with a pharmacy tech license, and I work at a laboratory. But living there, I was a bartender. I was in that party lifestyle.

[00:18:08] Rob Howe: So, I mean, just a couple of things, like for people who've never worked in the service industry or behind a bar, especially in Vegas, which is like the epitome of that life, right? So your sleep patterns are off. You're drinking. You're eating late night type food. Your lifestyle is built around a sort of always on late night adrenaline-fueled lifestyle. So as a type 1, what were your decisions like as you started to experience those things? And like you said, you had been a party girl from a small town. You go to the big city where people are coming in town every day and partying as hard as they can. What was that like from a type 1 perspective?

[00:18:56] Kayla Naeini: It was nuts. It was nuts because with us, we can't drink like normal people. And if you do, you're going to have some problems. So for me, I mean, it would just be low. It would just be like constant highs and lows. Like everything, it's just so hard to explain because you wouldn't feel good drinking like that. You know, being hungover and being a diabetic, you really don't feel good. I tell people when you feel hungover from alcohol, that's what a diabetic feels like a lot of the times. Guess what? I feel like that. Like I just did feel good. And especially I was around people doing, you know, drugs and, you know, experimenting with them. And it didn't make me feel good. Like, especially people have to think about with diabetes, when you're doing these things, you don't know how it's going to affect your body, your blood sugars, every bit of alcohol. You can have one drink from one bar and it can have the same drink at another bar. They can make it completely different. You don't know how that alcohol is going to affect you. You don't know how it's going to hit you. And you do drugs, you don't know what's in the drugs. You don't know what's going on, how it's going to affect you with your diabetes. You're playing Russian roulette with your life utterly.

[00:20:10] Rob Howe: So let's talk about that a little bit because the other day I had a similar, you know, it wasn't a party experience, but I went to happy hour. And I had a Moscow Mule, which is vodka, ginger beer, and lime for the most part. Most places make it the same. Ginger beer can be really sweet depending on which brand they use behind the bar. Most of the time you don't know. But I took a guess and also I've been having my problems with my insulin. Man, I had one of those and my blood sugar spiked all the way up. I didn't even really get to enjoy the drink. And, you know, my mind was all on where my blood sugar was and why I didn't feel good. So, you know, talk about the difference that you can between, you know, the drinks that you have. So, for example, you can read on a label or you'll talk about, oh, you know, hey, vodka water doesn't have any carbs.

[00:20:59] Kayla Naeini: Yeah.

[00:20:59] Rob Howe: Necessarily. And that's safe.

[00:21:01] Kayla Naeini: Yeah, that's safe.

[00:21:02] Rob Howe: And that's probably, that's probably like the, you know, on the diabetes scale, that's like the lowest on the danger zone scale. But obviously, like, nobody wants to drink vodka water their entire life. No offense to people who like vodka water, right?

[00:21:14] Kayla Naeini: Right. But you can always do the Vegas style Kayla turnip and have some sugar free Red Bull and vodka. So that's what I would do because drinking would make me sleepy with diabetes. Like I don't drink now. I don't go out like I you know, I only lived in Vegas for two years and two years was enough for me. Like with my diabetes, two years was enough. Like I don't want alcohol. I don't care. Like I was a young kid in a small town and I just needed to get that out of my system. But, I mean, it just made me feel like crap. Like, I just want to sleep being drunk and, you know, all this stuff and the sleeping patterns. Like, that messes up your diabetes. Like, I wasn't even checking my sugar a lot of the time because I was just ignoring it. I was just ignoring it, trying to be like everybody else. And that doesn't work. That only works for so long. And you're only hurting yourself.

[00:22:08] Rob Howe: well let's talk about that too because um i think too often we as as type ones we don't realize the effect that say a night of drinking even if your numbers are all the way you know you manage them effectively you woke up with a good number like just the the stress that your body goes through during a night like that um and i am like you i do i i basically have like two modes i either don't drink at all. Uh, I have some wine or I'm doing vodka Red Bulls, the vodka sugar-free Red Bulls, like RBV. Uh, because those are my three modes these days, uh, because I'm getting, you

[00:22:50] Kayla Naeini: know, I'm almost 30 and I'm boring, but same with me. Yeah. I'm almost 32. I'm, I can't do it. I

[00:22:56] Rob Howe: don't have the energy. Right. But I think, you know, when you, when you start to know your body, and I think a huge part of being a type 1 is knowing your body, you get into those situations and you don't realize that it's not just the booze, but it's also the insulin, and it's also the stress of riding up and down. And those play into your recovery.

[00:23:17] Kayla Naeini: Okay. So what do you mean, like, specifically?

[00:23:20] Rob Howe: So, I mean, like, you know, the next day you might be really hungover or you might be really tired. Oh, yeah. And you might just think that that's from partying, but in many cases that's from just riding the wave.

[00:23:32] Kayla Naeini: because we can't handle um you know alcohol like normal people so we're literally like we can be in dka like we how do you know the difference between your hunger and dka i never thought of that until now maybe now i'm thinking back there's some of the times that i could have been hung over throwing up maybe i'm in dka like our body is going through enough and you're pumping the stuff in you that, you know, that is totally, you know, just sugar, just straight up sugar. And, you know, you know, alcohol is bad for our kidneys, our livers, like you're just doing extra work on your body. And you're, you know, of course, when you wake up, you're drinking water, like you're in, we can't have Gatorade, like, I'm not going to be hung over and have Gatorade, that's going to make it worse. I'm going to want water. I, it's just, it just wasn't fun. Like I don't have that, you know, it sounds like I'd go out and I'd live that life. But now when I think about it, like there was nothing fun about that. Like we have to take it easy. We have to be kind to our bodies. Our bodies go through that.

[00:24:34] Rob Howe: Well, and that's a tough thing to balance, right? Because as kids and as young adults, we're learning about who we are and we're in different scenarios that we've never been in. Going back and talking to young Kayla, who's working in Vegas and who's living the life, what what would those conversations be like today knowing what you know now

[00:24:58] Kayla Naeini: what i would say to myself yeah oh gosh just you know don't try to keep up with people because you're you're not like we try to say we you know we we all type ones want to be normal we want to be as normal as possible listen in certain situations you can't be normal you can't drink like normal people. Our bodies aren't made for that anymore. You have to accept that. Once you accept that, and some people, you know what? It's so funny. I hear people say, oh, I can't drink. I can't drink anymore. I can't have a beer. You can. Everything with diabetes and moderation is fine. Everybody knows that, I'm sure. I mean, I'm sure there's a couple things we really shouldn't and can't have, but everybody knows. Just control it. Be mindful of it. I would tell myself, you know um don't stay up in the middle of the night because that's gonna that's gonna mess you up so bad you know our sleeping schedules and we have to have a good amount of sleep and when you deprive your body of that that's just bringing everything out of whack and that goes into like even i was thinking with parenting and micromanaging you know you're you could be looking at your kids decks common seeing what their numbers are but you don't know maybe that kid's stressed out or their body stressed out. Like just from us being under stress makes our sugar go up.

[00:26:15] Rob Howe: Yeah. I think a lot of people, and I talked about this on a recent interview as well, stress and cortisol and adrenaline are just incredible effectors of blood sugar, especially fasting. It's just incredible. That's a big part of my story as well. When I was a college athlete, there was a lot of stress around every game and a lot of pressure I I was putting on myself, um, and a lot of negative energy coming from, uh, from people in authority over me at that time. And that was affecting my blood sugar. I could go from like an 80 to a 400 fasting with no food in about half an hour. So it was just a, um, it's very interesting to, I think there's a lot more awareness now than there has ever been. Um, but that's still something that we all handle differently and that each day can, uh,

[00:27:05] Kayla Naeini: can throw into a different wrench in. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. You never know what's going to come your

[00:27:11] Rob Howe: way and can set it up. Yeah. And I think, um, you know, no, again, knowing yourself, like you said, everything in moderation, um, and making sure that you just don't put yourself in situations where you're alone, uh, I think is a big piece of it. Uh, how did you have the conversations with, especially new people that you met about your diabetes? Were you fairly open with it? How did

[00:27:35] Kayla Naeini: it how did it come up like relationships you're talking about relationships friendships just co-working um anything at all i'm i'm super open about it so if somebody would ask me a question or i'd bring it up or i'd joke about it like it's just who i am about it like why would i ever hide this to some people because we were weren't kids with this and we didn't get teased and made fun of and had to go through that in school the hell that kid kids probably to go through i was never ashamed of this. I was always open up with it. Yeah, people said stupid stuff here and there to me, but nothing to that extent. So I was never, you know, had a image about it, you know what I'm saying? I would just, you know, be like, hey, I have diabetes, I got it, I'm sick. And then just like months later, I felt like crap, I was actually out drinking, like, you know, this is what I have. And it could be a maker making a relationship and friendship with like, huge make or break. I've lost so many friends. So many relationships with men have not worked because of it, because of my diabetes. Like I hold people to a certain level of how they should treat me and how they should protect my diabetes. And if they can do that, I don't have time for

[00:28:51] Rob Howe: that. Well, okay. That's, I love that. I want to dive into it. Girlfriend, calm down. Girlfriend, calm down. No, no, no. I love that you're speaking with passion. I think that's a huge part of what makes these interviews great. So you're talking about relationships and diabetes. How in those, give me, give me examples of how they made or break relationships from your experience. Right. So was it the conversation? Was it the acceptance? How did it, how did it, how did it start taking from start to finish? There's so many of them. Like,

[00:29:24] Kayla Naeini: Like, I mean, dating, I only knew diabetes and dating. I didn't know just being a normal person. I mean, I was 16, so starting to date guys, that was just diabetes and dating. Like, some of them did not understand it. They were so mean about it. They would be like, you're just making this up, like, that you don't see it as an excuse. You're lying about it. And that would just set me off and be like, if you think that I'm lying about, I don't even want to be around you. That's really, that's just really low. And I don't know.

[00:29:59] Rob Howe: And I think that's a, you know, that's a feeling I think that a lot of people get, right? They're like, well, if you can't accept me with that, with this, then, you know, good for me to find out now. but it doesn't help you like that feeling and that anger and that sort of rejection in the moment

[00:30:16] Kayla Naeini: um it's tough to deal with yeah it's it's a disappointment because you want everybody to just be compassionate like i know nobody's gonna understand what we go through we go through the only only people know what we us and the people that love us the most that have been there and see us in our worst and best. So it's just weird, like, the way that some people handle it, you know. They're not meant to be with diabetics, and that's okay. Like, I'm not mad about that. That's just you're just not for me. Like, I need somebody that's compassionate, that I can rely on to save my life. Because I've been in situations where I don't think that person will save my life.

[00:31:01] Rob Howe: so for you you you had to ask as you were as you were going through the dating world i was very similar to you i didn't um i didn't know the dating world before diabetes really um you you would you know choose a partner or choose to pursue a relationship based on hey you know a big box that i've got to check is do i trust this person to take care of me if i'm in trouble yeah huge huge

[00:31:29] Kayla Naeini: yeah and I would and I would see that some of them just didn't like I tell the story to people one guy I was dating I remember I woke up in the middle of the night to check my sugars and turn the light on he goes can you turn the light off and told him no I'm checking my sugars like I'm low I'm gonna have to sit here and eat something he just got up out of the room and left and I didn't see him or see him for three days and I was like because I shut the lights off I'm trying to make myself stay alive like that doesn't even make sense goodbye like leave forever i don't care

[00:32:04] Rob Howe: right and you know you don't sometimes you don't find those things out until you do yes it'll be

[00:32:11] Kayla Naeini: like wow that person really couldn't handle it like i did somebody else with a um chronic condition and like i don't want to you know disclose about what it was because i don't want to I don't want to say mine was worse or his was worse but us we both had a really bad chronic condition and I couldn't take his because it was so much more draining than mine I just couldn't deal with it I didn't think if I didn't have diabetes would I be able to deal with an diabetic we require a lot I think we're not easy people to deal with because some of us get moody some of us go into a sex Like that's a whole ballgame too. There's different things. There's different aspects of being a diabetic and you have to be, you know, strong type three if you want to be in this game with us.

[00:33:03] Rob Howe: So speaking of those strong type threes, give me, I mean, great example of somebody who, you know, just wasn't up to snuff. What about the relationships that they did pass the test? How did you know that they were not only ready to accept you, but, you know, were in the ready to, you know, help you if need be?

[00:33:22] Kayla Naeini: Okay. So I'll never – there's things in my mind with my diabetes and all with us that we never forget. And I remember I was dating this one guy at the time. And I used to have a lot of problems with my Omnipod pump because I'm really small. And the Omnipod just wouldn't go in me, right? I'd get kinks. Like, it would make me bleed. I would get insulin and I'd be trying over and over and over to get these, these sets into me, like this pump into me. And I would just be like at number four, trying plunging this into me in tears, like just crying. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this. Like why? And he, and the boyfriend I was dating, he's like, seriously, you're the strongest person I know. You can do this. Like, just do it. I'm here for you. Take a deep breath. Like, you know, walking me through it, being like my, you know, my team on my team cheering me on. That was a really defiant moment of somebody that I look for in somebody being diabetes. I want them to be my cheerleader. Like, I want them to be my ride or die with this. You know, they need to be passionate about this. The last person I was meeting, he'd go to JDRF events with me. Wouldn't say a word. Like, come on, at least put some input you know if i know you go and that's fun enough but at least act interested

[00:34:41] Rob Howe: well and you know trying to see from the other side too right um none of us know about type 1 until we have to know but that is a you know that's a clear moment like you said at least you know what you're looking for in that person right you have said you've set an expectation this is not only something that I have and I deal with, but it's also something that I'm passionate about. And again, I think that comes back to way, way back at the beginning of the diagnosis where you are open with people about having type 1, despite not knowing anybody with it early on and kind of joining the community as you know, it has become more popular and become back in that Renaissance conversation. um but for what would you say to somebody who's you know struggling with being outward or open about it on in like a dating relationship

[00:35:42] Kayla Naeini: okay uh in a dating relationship i mean it is a part of who we are and i wouldn't hide it i mean why hide something that literally is so much about us you have to have to educate them and And, you know, because educating them is going to make them understand what you need, what your needs are, too. If you let them know, you know, how do you expect them to or give them a try? I don't know, like, anybody that hides it really from their relationship too much. I mean, I've heard people, but I never have. So it's just hard for me to even give advice to that because it's just you have to be open. You have to communicate and be like, this is why I'm not feeling good. Like, this is, this is why I feel it's not you today. Like, it's, it's literally me. Like, if I, if I was grouchy with you, like, I'm sorry, it really wasn't even you. I'm just not feeling good. Like, you have to be honest with yourself too. And sometimes like we, we have pride, too much pride, but sometimes we have to take it down and be like, you know, it isn't our diabetes. Like, admit it because our, it's seriously, we get moody. We don't feel good. We're dying. and that affects the relationship too you know at one point I wasn't that active with um with having diabetes and like the guy that I was with like you sleep all the time like I'm not in a normal relationship you sleep half the time that woke me up to be like I need to change my life I don't want to be that person like that hurts not to date well and it's hard right I mean you know

[00:37:16] Rob Howe: you're sometimes you just don't have it. I think that was something in the last year that I've allowed myself to admit sometimes is that, you know, there are mornings when I've done everything right. And I still wait, I wake up and I'm like, man, like, I don't have it today. What is it? Am I just, am I just worn out? Cause that's a possibility. I do a lot. I live a pretty end-to-end lifestyle. Even now, it's 9.30 on a Monday. I was up at 4.45 going to the gym this morning. I worked all day. I went and played a basketball game tonight, and now I'm straight back here. I live a pretty active life, and I make no apologies for it because sometimes it makes me the worst. At the end of the day, I know I'm going to wake up tomorrow early, and my body is going to be tired, and my mind is going to be tired. But hopefully, if I can get all this, you know, expired insulin or whatever is going on with Walgreens on the system, you know, hopefully I'll be able to overcome that. But only up until recently, have I been able to say, you know what, today, I got to have eight hours of just rest, or I got to just tap out, I got to put the brakes on this stuff and step away because I'm worn out. so I you know I think for people who are who are like me who are type 1 type a like go-getters trying to do everything all at once you still got to be able to take care of yourself you still got to say you know hey back yeah and and for you you know for you what um you know now and now you're obviously you've left the the part of the party scene behind in Vegas you are now a pharmacy tech um do you interact at all with people or you know with with type 1 do you ever you know just fill an insulin prescription and just like wink at the person and be like hey i know what you're going

[00:39:04] Kayla Naeini: through no i actually work in a lab and we do genetics and drug testing so i'm just like on the phone all day with doctors and doing lab results so i don't i see um actually lab results that come through that are diabetics and i could see how they might be a diabetic from signaling ketones. So that's kind of cool. But other than that, no.

[00:39:25] Rob Howe: You just look at those ketones. You're like, Hey, I, uh, you're a diabetic. Yeah.

[00:39:31] Kayla Naeini: And like, they're not drunk. They're a diabetic because they might think that they're drunk coming in, but not they're a diabetic.

[00:39:36] Rob Howe: It's so funny. It's like, you know, you feel kind of hung over when your, your blood sugar is high. You feel kind of drunk when your blood sugar is low. It's just a weird cycle.

[00:39:44] Kayla Naeini: Sometimes.

[00:39:47] Rob Howe: Kayla, what, um, I want to ask you this. you know somebody who's you're almost 13 years in as a t1d um what and i ask this question on all all my interviews um first of all before i get to the question have you have you ever run into somebody in the in public um or met someone with type 1 that and you just hit it off with them right off the like right off the bat and you're like wow this person just knows me so well

[00:40:17] Kayla Naeini: I never have I don't really meet anybody in public with it

[00:40:22] Rob Howe: yeah that's and I think still like you're able to be involved in a participant in the community I think that's important right uh even if people aren't in your immediate area and there are I mean and you know I've met other t1ds from San Diego and it's just a you know this is a small world, but it's also a big world. You know, you can't, uh, you may not ever run into someone. And so, you know, for somebody like you who grew up in a small town, didn't have a lot of interactions, I'm just encouraged that you can still be open and still, you know, have a, have a way to tell your story and connect with other people, even though you don't, you know, you're not, you know, do it. And, and I'm just using this as an example, you know, there's not a T1D meetup every week where you're at, you know, there's, it doesn't have to be this, you know, crazy, in-depth piece. Just a little bit goes a long way. Yeah. And I totally love connecting with

[00:41:16] Kayla Naeini: other diabetics. I mean, it wasn't until, you know, May this year that I accepted that I had diabetes. It took me, you know, over 10 years to accept that I have this. And that was thanks to the diabetic community. I reach out to everybody. I want to talk to everybody and have anybody message me with questions day or night because I felt so alone with this for so long and if I could help somebody not feel alone and that goes back to when you first get diagnosed you know you remember these things are instilled in you I want these people that just got diabetes to remember that girl was there for me when I didn't know like I didn't know what to do at the time and I felt like I had nobody to talk to because at my time when I had it we had my space people didn't but I have type 1 on their MySpace. So I had no one. I had my cousin, but he lived far away. Now we live close to each other that are type ones that live by each other, which is awesome. But I felt so isolated. And then a type 1 that did me was like, Oh, I got this. It's, it's whatever. Like, it didn't even bother him. And I'm like, Oh, wait, all right, because everything's bothering in me right now. I don't know what you're doing. Right. You know, sometimes, sometimes you just

[00:42:31] Rob Howe: have those moments, right? Like, you know, uh, you got to celebrate those small wins sometimes because there, there will be inevitably days like I'm in right now where I'm just like, you know, what is going on? I didn't, this is like this no carb lunch just drove me way up high. What's

[00:42:46] Kayla Naeini: going on? Give me some help here. Yeah. But also like, it's okay to struggle. that's definitely is that's that's something to like and and ask for help to like and reach out to people because i was so depressed with this when i first got it like i i literally would sit and not go to bed and sit up till 6 a.m wondering why why did i get this why would somebody do this to me and i couldn't figure out why i got this like why would this happen to me i've never done anything i thought it was a punishment for so long i thought this was the worst punishment that somebody could do to me. And I had to look at life in a different way. I had to look at this not as a punishment. I had to look at this as like, listen, like you have to look at life differently because you weren't looking at it like before. Before I got this, I didn't look at life beautifully. I grew up a very depressed child for no reason, just had a chemical imbalance in my head. And this diagnosis made me realize that I have to appreciate every day. I have to appreciate my feet touching the floor when I wake up in the morning. I have to appreciate the light outside, even though I don't want to wake up and go to work. I appreciate the alarm on my phone because I don't want to get up, you know, that I could hear that. All little blessings. Would I have known these blessings if I wasn't a diabetic? I can assure you I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have looked at life in the way that I do now. Wow, that's powerful. Yeah.

[00:44:20] Rob Howe: And you have to have that. I think, like you said, you can get distracted. You can forget to appreciate your feet hitting the floor. But that gratitude can take you a long way.

[00:44:33] Kayla Naeini: It can. I mean, for an example, I know somebody that's going through a lot right now with cancer in his esophagus. I mean, very terrible cancer. But he's working and he works with me. And he knew that I couldn't really eat donuts. So instead, he brought like a donut key chain to me and to a person that has Crohn's in my office, like instead of giving us donuts. And I just thought that was the sweetest thing, even if it's 25 cents, like the gratitude that I have for somebody thinking of my disease that is literally surviving way like is not even surviving. And to think of me and just that 25 cents, that little thing that's so small meant the world to me. And would I have appreciated that without this? I don't know. Would I have had the compassion I had for that man without this? I don't know because it makes me look at everything in life different. Everything. The way that I treat my family, the way that I treat myself, we have to be better to ourselves. I didn't respect my body when I first got this. I didn't respect myself. We have to respect ourselves. We have to love ourselves. I tell people this is a condition about how to love yourself. Because if you don't love yourself, you're not going to survive. If you love it, because I was depressed before. You know, depressed people don't want to take care of themselves. They don't even want to brush their hair in the morning. But I had no choice but to be looking at this differently and being like, you have to have a purpose. Like, there is a purpose for you. Like, there's something better. You were depressed before for nothing. I'm going to give you something to be depressed about and you're going to see the blessings in life that you never thought before

[00:46:20] Rob Howe: that's powerful I'm not even going to ask you what you would tell to someone in the airport if you ran into them and only had 30 seconds because I don't want you to have to try to top that that was really great

[00:46:31] Kayla Naeini: I got so many things to tell about my outlook with this because like I said I was a really depressed child And, you know, I'm not ashamed to talk about things. I, you know, tried to commit suicide at 13 years old, you know, being on the wrong antidepressants that didn't work well for me. And I know that I would have successfully taken my life with diabetes if I wouldn't have, you know, done that before. So I had to be like, listen, this was somebody telling me, I'm giving you a chance to appreciate life. Like I know that's weird to think and it's I don't know if it's a twisted way for me to think about it. It was for somebody to tell me I'm going to make you appreciate the things you never appreciated before. And I had to look at life differently. I have never been depressed like since I've really, you know, got that under control and got the right depression medication. So by the time I was 16 and I got diabetes, I was in a better place. Like, you know, yes, I was depressed and yes, I was sad. There was no way I was taking my life. I love myself enough. I can proudly say I've never skipped a shot ever in my life because I love myself so much now that I would never do that to my body. But before, you know, before I didn't love myself, you know, it had to make me look at things totally different.

[00:47:49] Rob Howe: it. And it could force you to do that. But I think, again, it's all about how you respond to those situations. And I think your talk about self-love is something that no one's talked about on the podcast before in that way. You do have to love yourself. And it's hard. It's hard to do sometimes. And it's not always the clearest black and white decisions. But I love that you've never skipped a shot. I never have either. And sometimes I struggle to say that because I know that there There are a lot of people who do. Yeah.

[00:48:22] Kayla Naeini: And you know what, Rob? I've never thought of that until today either. I never thought, hey, I've never skipped a shot because I didn't know people did that. Like it mind boggles me that, you know, that's sad to me that people don't love themselves or that scared or just whatever the reason is. It's just crazy to me.

[00:48:40] Rob Howe: Well, and it is. And I think it's just important to know that, you know, hearing somebody say, hey, you know, you, I didn't, I used to not love myself, but now I do. And it's made all the difference can make the difference for someone. Um, it could be what they needed to hear. And, um, and that's why I'm glad that, uh, that you came on and shared a little bit of your story. And like, and you and I have talked about before, you know, you have a lot of different, uh, stories as well that we may have to have you back on to share, but I really appreciate the time. And I'm really glad, uh, that you were able to, uh, to come on and tell your story. No worries. Thank you. Um, I know we, made the joke at the beginning of the episode, but if people want to get in touch with you

[00:49:19] Kayla Naeini: online, where can they find you? They can find me on Instagram at Frenchie Gang underscore. You can also find me, if you want to be my friend on Facebook, you can find me at Kayla, last name N-A-E-I-N-I and I'm on there. And I just want everybody to know you. Reach out to me if you ever want to talk, if you need advice, you want a friend, you just want to talk or bet I'm always here that's what I'm here for this is what made me accept my diabetes and that this is my purpose so well we're glad to have you no worries thank you so much