Diabetics Doing Blogging and Travel with Beatriz Estay

[00:00:07] Rob Howe: Welcome to the Diabetics Doing Things podcast. We've been telling the amazing stories of type 1 diabetics all across the world since 2015, and we have over a thousand years of living with T1D on the podcast. The interviews range from incredible feats to everyday victories, and we celebrate them all just the same. Thanks for listening, and if you want to get involved even further, just send me an email at rob at diabeticsdoingthings.com. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Diabetics Doing Things. We are telling the amazing stories of type 1 diabetics from all across the world. My very special guest today, I'm very excited to introduce to you guys because I actually had the pleasure of meeting her in St. Louis at a JDRF type 1 nation event a couple weeks ago. Beatriz Estay, welcome to the show.

[00:01:10] Beatriz Estay: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

[00:01:12] Rob Howe: Very excited to have you here. You're calling from the St. Louis area.

[00:01:17] Beatriz Estay: The lovely St. Louis.

[00:01:18] Rob Howe: Lovely St. Louis. We were just chatting about the weather off the air shortly before the conversation started. It seems like every time I'm thinking about St. Louis, there's just snow in the forecast.

[00:01:29] Beatriz Estay: That's exactly right. Just a few flurries today, though. I'm ready for spring, so hopefully it's the last.

[00:01:36] Rob Howe: Yeah, hopefully there's some sunshine on your horizon. Beatrice, you've got a pretty awesome story, especially early on in your diagnosis, a lot of challenges that you had to overcome. Why don't you introduce yourself to everyone and kind of start with diagnosis and we'll go from there.

[00:01:52] Beatriz Estay: Sure. Well, hello, everyone that's listening. My name is Beatrice. I'm 22 and I live in St. Louis. I will be type 1 diabetic 10 years this year, which is actually crazy to believe. And yeah, my diagnosis story is kind of crazy. My family moved to Tokyo, Japan, actually right when I turned 12 or right before I turned 13, actually. And three months after we moved there, I self-diagnosed myself with type 1 diabetes. And it was, you know, all in a crazy experience. But it basically started like any other 13-year-old girl in 2008. I was a huge Jonas Brothers fan. I was sitting at home watching YouTube videos. And I stumbled upon a video of Nick Jonas playing a little bit longer. And before he got into the song, he started explaining his symptoms and a few of the signs about type 1 diabetes. And I was sitting there thinking, that's so crazy. Like, I feel the same way. And, you know, at 13, you never let yourself believe that you could have something so drastic. But I went to Google. I searched up symptoms of type 1 diabetes. and believe it or not, there was the list of, you know, unexpected weight loss, extreme thirst, super tired, just, you know, everything that you don't want to be feeling. And right before I had moved to Tokyo, I was actually playing some travel volleyball in the U.S. And so I kind of had an idea of my weight. So I got up, I went to my parents' bathroom, weight myself. And before I had done this, I had been weighing probably about 105 pounds. I mean, I was only 13 at the time, so it wasn't a lot. But I stepped on the scale and I weighed like 83 pounds. And it was, it was, I was like, is the scale broken? You know, what's wrong here? And I walked over to the kitchen. I remember super vividly, my mom was making dinner and she just said, Hey, honey, like, what's up? And I looked at her. And I said, Mama, I think I'm I have type 1 diabetes. And she kind of paused for a second, and looked at me and was like, All right, well, like, we'll take you to the doctor tomorrow. Like, don't worry about it. Let's just have you know, let's have dinner and relax. So thinking inside, in my head, I was like, well, I probably don't have type 1. But hey, I get like a day off school tomorrow. That's great. you know um but the next morning i woke up i have an older sister who she's one year older than me um so she was a freshman in high school at the time and she stayed home from school and i asked my parents i said hey mom and dad why is sophie also staying home you know like what like what's wrong and they were like oh you know like trying to put it off like high school's tough we'll we'll give her a day off um and i was like all right so my whole entire family came to the doctor with me and thank God we had found a bilingual pediatrician just down the road from where our apartment was in Tokyo and I sat down and he just looked at me and said yeah she she has type 1 and my parents were like all right like what does that mean I mean it was obviously such an overwhelming moment sure and so they they did some tests they did the urine test and all that stuff and had it confirmed that my levels were just through the roof. I think I tested at like 900 or something like that. It was crazy. So they said, well, go back home for a few hours, eat lunch, and I'm going to start calling some hospitals to find a doctor that speaks English. You know, it's kind of something you don't think about when you're about to get diagnosed or right when you get diagnosed. So I remember we went home and right next to the pediatrician, there's a Starbucks. And obviously at that age, I was obsessed with Frappuccinos. And I remember I looked at my mom and I said, mom, can I have the last Frappuccino of my life? And she was like, no, you can't do that. They were so worried. So we went home and she still made a really good lunch. But we came back to the doctor up for lunch. They gave us a hospital directions to go to. And they were really nice. I mean, they had everything set up. But we got to the hospital and I mean, the staff barely spoke English. And I think at the age that I was, I, I, I like someone told me like, you have type 1 diabetes, but I didn't really know what that was. I had never heard of it prior than Nick Jonas having it. So I didn't really knew like the harshness that it entailed. but I just remember I was so thirsty and they had me wait kind of laying on a hospital bed for a bit and my entire family was like drinking water bottles or juice in front of me and the doctor was like you know Beatrice can't have anything right now and I just remember looking at them and I was like why are you guys doing this to me so thirsty right now it's crazy but soon enough they got me in a wheelchair they got me uh to a room and that was the first moment where it really started feeling real um they had inserted obviously iv all that kind of stuff um but i remember i went to the bathroom and my mom i had like in one hand i had the iv coming in and in the other hand i had they pretty much just put like a catheter in case if they had to draw blood overnight and stuff so I couldn't like clench my clutch my hands. So my mom had to like wash my hands for me and all that stuff. And I just remember looking at her and I said, mom, like, I need to sit down. And she was like, what are you talking about? I said, I need to say I can't stand up. And by the grace of God, the small Japanese nurse was able to bring the chair and just in time and I literally couldn't stand anymore. And that was scary. You know, you're 13. You usually have a lot of energy. and all of a sudden my world just came, I mean, literally crashing down. And I was in the pediatric unit. I remember the next day I woke up, you know, like you're trying to be positive. And the whole staff was actually really intrigued because I was their first foreign patient. So they were all really excited to like talk to me about America and kind of, you know, being American. Like, what is that like? All that kind of stuff. and so it was kind of nice because they wanted to connect with me so I kind of felt like oh maybe we can talk about something else than what's going on right now but they did tell me you know they said well how did how did you figure it out all this stuff and very broken English I was trying to explain and the doc the male doctor told me you know if you if you didn't figure it out you would have gone into a coma like yesterday. Um, so I got, I got really lucky that I was able to self-diagnose myself. Um, it's crazy to think that it all started with a YouTube video about Nick Jonas and my mom always jokes. She's like, you need to go on Ellen and meet Nick Jonas. Um, you know, you got it full circle. And I'm like, all right, mom. Um, but yeah, and I, I stayed in the hospital for 10 days. Um, in Japan, I know in the U S I've people that I've talked to that have gotten diagnosed with type 1. It's usually like they're in and out within 24 to 48 hours. Um, and my, and Japan in general, any type of procedure, if you get hospitalized, they want to make sure 110% that you're okay. Um, they told me, you know, go back to the U S You need to have a U.S. doctor, like, give you a treatment plan, all that stuff. So it was crazy. I mean, my parents thought about moving back to the U.S. And luckily we were able to, you know, we flew back home once I got out of the hospital. I was back in Chicago for a month meeting with doctors, you know, getting all the, you know, products I need, the insulin pens, the needles, all that stuff. and I'm just forever grateful for all the support. My family has stuck with me for so long and especially living abroad. I mean, it was so overwhelming and when you're in the moment, you're like, oh my God, I'm getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. What is this? It's a chronic illness. They're telling me my pancreas is broken and it's really emotional and in the moment, you almost forget how many people it impacts. You know, I saw my dad cry tears in the hospital and I had never seen my dad break down like that. So it was, I mean, it was hard in eighth grade, you're dealing with puberty. That's like hard enough as it is. So, but I mean, it was a crazy experience.

[00:10:59] Rob Howe: Well, I think there's multiple layers to it. And I mean, your story is very unique. I think specifically a with the self-diagnosis uh i mean shout out youtube i feel like how how rare is it to actually go online with symptoms and come out with a productive prognosis or diagnosis i mean i've i've joked with people in the past like you start googling any sort of symptoms and then you end up on mayo clinic and it's always terminal cancer right so yeah um you know and you know we're we all joke about you know nick jonas and how he's you know uh is who he is and is very outspoken now um but to think at that time 10 years ago um that just the youtube video of him discussing what was going on would then allow you to absorb just as a fan with no you know no diagnosis celebrity search before that diabetes celebrity search just a just as a fan to hear him talking about that. Wow, I feel that way too. And I think especially today, there's a conversation about DKA that's very top of mind at the moment, because a lot of people are passing away, because they're not correctly identifying their symptoms soon enough, because they are sort of strange, you know, just normal. They're just, you know, a little bit of fatigue, you could be overworked, a little bit of weight loss, you might have even been trying to eat healthier, or feel good about being more active. Sure. You know, dehydration and fatigue. I mean, those things are just normal, you know, especially because I think we as a society just don't drink enough water in the United States and we overwork ourselves, especially as young people. We're trying to either come up with multiple things or we're studying too much or whatever the case is. Those symptoms of DKA can easily get swept under the rug. And, you know, for you to, you know, as you as your doctor said, you know, be very much on the verge of a diabetic coma, very fortunate to have, you know, be, you know, searching on the internet and be as headstrong

[00:12:58] Beatriz Estay: as you were as a 13 year old and say, Hey, I think this is a real thing. We need to go to the doctor. Yeah, no. And I mean, even to this day, you know, you, I feel like sometimes, or I've felt personally over the years as I've managed type 1 longer and longer, thinking back to that initial really first year of everything that you're going through from the, from my case, the self-diagnosis to, you know, uh, getting a CGM or just being on pens, whether you switch to the pump, there are so many new things that are going on that it's very hard to wrap your mind around, you know, it, it sucks that you get diabetes and it took me a really long time to fully accept it. Um, but then to think, well, wait a minute, it could have been 10 times worse. You know, like, if I'm, if I have the chance to be here, if I have the chance and the tools to manage it, where I can live a long and healthy life, then I'm going to be all about that. And I think in a weird way, getting diagnosed right when I moved to Japan was kind of a blessing, because it really taught me quickly how, I guess, in a weird way, normal, I could live my life. And what I mean by that is, you know, we were traveling like crazy. You know, you live in a foreign country, you know, living in Asia, we have the opportunity to be so much closer to countries that it would be a really expensive trip from the US. And at first, my parents were really cautious. And they say, well, you know, maybe we shouldn't go visit all these places. Is it is it hard to travel with all the supplies? Is it, you know, what do you do in a place where like your doctor's not there, all that stuff? And like I said, with their support, we were just able to do it. I mean, in my whole entire life, which is really, I had only visited two countries before I moved to Japan because my family's also from Chile and South America. But in total now, I've been to like 14 countries. And to think that that could have, that that happened all while I had, pretty much all while I had diabetes is incredible.

[00:15:08] Rob Howe: Well, and I think, you know, like you said, in a weird way, multiple changes at that time. I think you guys were more prepared for, you know, something else to happen. You know, a lot of people, I think, just live their lives in the same place all the time and rarely get to that point of extended comfort zone, pushing like a move to a foreign country.

[00:15:30] Beatriz Estay: Yeah.

[00:15:31] Rob Howe: And then throwing diabetes on top of that. you know maybe you guys were better equipped to handle that sort of change at that time and maybe one positively influenced the other and then I think too there I did an interview with Oren Liebermann who's a CNN correspondent in Jerusalem he and his wife he got diagnosed while he and his wife were on a year-long trip around the world and right off the bat they decided that they were going to continue traveling and that set the precedent for the rest of his life with type 1, that whatever came, he was going to continue to do it because he had decided and made a purposeful decision that while he was going to be safe and make sure he took care of himself, that he was going to do the things that he wanted to do. And I think in the same way, you and your family said, okay, let's think about this for a second, but also we're here as a family. This is a big opportunity. Let's learn and set a precedent for you and your life, which I think just in the short conversations that I've had with you in St. Louis definitely comes through in the way that in your outlook and perspective in the way that you live your life.

[00:16:35] Beatriz Estay: Well, thank you. But yeah, no, I mean, you know, it's crazy. I mean, we ended up living in Japan for about six years. And then I decided I was going to come back to Chicago for college. and the second day of school I met my boyfriend who I'm still dating now um and you know being in Japan there's not a lot of people there that are type 1 um you know even in the hospital when I would go to the check-ins and stuff like having a pump was crazy to them um it was a very a very different thing and so when I came to college I was almost in a way excited to tell people that I was type 1. And, um, I was fascinated by how many other, how many people also knew more type ones. Um, cause in, in that six years, I really just knew myself and that was kind of hard to, you know, get motivation, get inspiration, like feel like a little bit more of a normal person. And so I met my boyfriend, like the second day of calling college orientation and he's not type 1, but he had a friend that he knew was type 1. And I started asking him all these questions, like, what's it like to be friends with someone who has type 1? And, you know, I got the chance to tell, to tell Matt, my boyfriend, you know, what it's like for me. And I was so surprised because, like I said, in Japan, it's not as common. So I mean, I went to an American school and stuff, but most people still hearing type 1 diabetes kind of, you know, raised an eyebrow, They had no idea what it was. And not that they would judge me, but sometimes it was, they just, we couldn't get on the same page. So it was hard sometimes to make friends and just to connect and to have people understand what you're going to go through. And with Matt, he was so excited to learn about what it was that I had to do every day. And I, it was just crazy to me that I, you know, you jump different chapters in life and you find so many people with these connections. and then he was really sweet because he so I was diagnosed September 22nd and I remember telling him that was going to be my fifth year anniversary of having or my diiversary I'm having diabetes and I told him I said hey by the way don't take it personally but this day I'm usually really like really down it's a really really hard day for me I always cry I call my mom you know my family a lot of people call me. So if I'm like, you know, MIA, that's probably why. And he ended up being really sweet. And he like officially asked me to be his girlfriend on that day. And it was so funny because he took me like we went, we have a beach like right by our college. And he took me for a walk. And we weren't even talking about, you know, the meaning of that day, we're just getting to know each other, you know, two 18 year olds just getting to college. Um, and it totally made me even forget that that was what was going on that day. Um, so he asked me to be his girlfriend and, uh, he was like, Hey, do you know why I picked today? And I was like, why today? And I had, you know, no idea in my head. And he had told me, he said, I, well, you know, you don't deserve to have a day that feels so painful. And I wanted to change that for you and make it a happy day. um and that just to me was like obviously you know you could say romantic and cute but um for someone who's not type 1 to have that mentality to try to do what they can even though they don't fully understand what it's like to be in your shoes I just like thought that was so cool um and every year now since like so now it's funny like I'll be 10 years diabetic this year and this year will be our fifth year anniversary together it's like every year that day just gets It's still obviously sad, some parts of it, but it's just so much better because now I have this new outlook in life that's just like I have this opportunity to live and love and have friends and promote something that's so horrible but to encourage other people that they're going to get through it.

[00:20:49] Rob Howe: Well, A, I think everyone is going to hear that story about Matt and he's going to be the non-type 1, type 1 boyfriend of the year. Um, so I think he's a great example of the partners that we take on in our lives, uh, who are not type 1, but sort of adopt us and learn and really plunge themselves into the community because Matt was also at the event, uh, in St. Louis. And I remember at one point we were sitting at a table, it was you guys and me. And then another, another type 1 couple, uh, who were about 50 years older than us. Um, but were the sweetest people. and I was just sitting there and I was like on your side you have type 1 and your boyfriend does not and on her side she did not have type 1 and her husband did and had for like 50 years and I just remember sitting there and kind of seeing both ends of the spectrum like and and seeing a lot of similarities between her and Matt and that number one they just cared about their partners so much that they had learned as much as they could about diabetes and they were involved in asking questions and really cared about, you know, how much they knew because it affected their life with their partner and the outlook that they had about it. And I thought that was really cool to see no matter how long you've known the person or how long you've been together, how long you've known about type 1, the energy and the passion and you could just feel the love there. It was really sweet. It was kind of a cool moment to see kind of both sides of the journey. And I felt encouraged for both of you guys. Also, Matt reminds me so much of my younger brother. They might be clones. I don't know. It was the weirdest thing. That's sort of off topic, but they have the same exact personality. It was very funny. It was just a very weird, strange moment. I was texting him actually that day, my little brother, about it. I want to focus on, I want to back up a little bit because something that I talk about regularly with guests on this podcast is the outlook of from the doctor's perspective. And I think for you being in a foreign country with a bilingual doctor, but at the same time, very culturally different, a long way from home. Do you remember what the prognosis was of what your life was going to be like from the moment of diagnosis on? uh did they feel positive was it a did you feel empowered or was that more when you got back to

[00:23:25] Beatriz Estay: the u.s so it's really interesting because i think it's a really it's a huge testament to the japanese culture which is like one of my favorites by the way i'm sorry i which is one of my favorites by the way i could not be a bigger fan of japanese culture in general and also tokyo is like one of the best places I've ever been to. Yeah, I mean, I literally would tell people, I'm like, my heart feels Japanese after living there. That was the longest place I had lived in one spot. And the culture there is just amazing. You know, the people are so, they're so respectful, so patient, so kind, very almost nurturing. And that was really the feelings that I got when I was in the hospital. And my doctor, and he was Dr. Ito, she's, you know, incredible. Um, but she, you know, she was very realistic. You know, she said, you know, like you, you need to be able to manage this and, um, being, especially being 13, you know, like I had my, my parents also doing a lot of the listening. Um, but there, it was still very much like, these are the steps that you need to take right now. Like we just need to get you okay. Um, so here's what we're going to do. But she's, you know, my parents were asking a lot of questions and I was kind of just sitting there listening to it all. But she said that she was like, she'll be okay. She'll live a long life, but she just needs to do these things. And so she wasn't over-nurturing or I would maybe –

[00:24:59] Rob Howe: I think also that you have the language barrier, obviously, so expressing that type of emotion might be a little bit different.

[00:25:05] Beatriz Estay: But she was very realistic, but also I would say very positive. and it's funny that you, you know, I've, I've also heard stories from people when they get diagnosed and it's either a good thing or bad thing, um, or from the doctor. And when actually, when I went back to the U S I actually, uh, got a negative reaction. Um, and you know, the, I think they're just very not aggressive, but they really just want to make sure that you, you get on track. Right. Um, but it was almost, it was almost aggressive. And I felt like, I felt very overwhelmed. Um, and I remember, I remember my doctor had said, and when I got to the U S you know, my mom was like, well, what can she eat? Like, what do we need to change as a family? Are there things that she should avoid? And they, they, so they told us, they said, well, she can eat whatever she wants. And my mom was like, mind boggled. She's like, no, there has to be something, you know, like there, we obviously we have to eat healthy, all that stuff. And so my mom said, well, what about, um, like regular Coca-Cola? Cause I mean, and what, like, that's what middle school kids drink, you know, like just soda and all this other stuff. And he looked, he turned to my mom and he just goes, why would you? And to this day, we laugh about that story. It was the first time I had seen the doctor in the U.S. But it was really difficult. I actually didn't like the endocrine. I didn't like going to the endocrinologist because they were very judgmental in how you did things. And it was almost like it was only going to work out long term if you followed exactly what they did. So you didn't get that like freedom of life like, hey, like I'm going to motivate you to do the things that you want to do. And you're not going to be limited. I didn't get that. I got like a, if you stick to this guidebook and you stick to the calorie king, you know, like carb count, all that stuff, like then you'll be okay. But if you do anything else, um, if you, you know, if you have room for error, you're not going to be okay. Um, so I would say that's why too, it just took me a long time to, uh, you know, get all that stuff figured out.

[00:27:21] Rob Howe: Well, and even today I was, somebody was having a conversation with me on Instagram, um, about just feeling kind of like bringing a report card home when you go to the endocrinologist, like you're a little bit self-conscious about what the number is, no matter how in range it might be. Because you get that kind of like success, non-success from an endocrinologist at times. And I'm a big advocate that there's no such thing as a good or bad number. It's just a number. And I think the decisions that you make, you have to make sure to keep yourself in mind. And sure, having a 5.9 A1C is better than having an 8.9 A1C, but you're not a better or worse person either way. And it's also not a competition. So I think, you know, even in St. Louis, I met a girl and her dad who were really coming there because they seemed really desperate. They hadn't, they have had a tough time. She had been diagnosed for maybe two years and had a high A1C to the point where, you know, it was unhealthy for her and she was potentially risking long-term damage. And she was really trying to, to get it down and figure out what to do. And, you know, I kind of pointed her in the direction of some really good health coaches that I know, um, diabetes health coaches. And because I felt like she just needed somebody to support her, you know, and I think in some ways we all do, whether that's a health coach or an endocrinologist or a significant other, or just a friend or just the community in general to know that it's okay that if you have a high blood sugar from time to time or, you know, you don't have necessarily have to have that super tight control freak mentality on your entire life. You know, I think it's all that delicate balance. How do you find that sort of balance in your everyday life along with juggling, you know, a relationship, professional career, your blogging as well, which I for sure want to talk about

[00:29:17] Beatriz Estay: and just life in general? Yeah. So I would say, I mean, it's definitely fluctuated over time. I remember when I first got diagnosed, I think too, at the age I was like, and I actually get this question a lot from moms that follow my blog and they have kids with type 1. And they say like, when is a good time for me to back off? And the first like two years, And I think at the time I didn't see it the way I do now being older, but I would get really frustrated with my family because I felt like when I got diabetes, all my privacy was taken away. Everyone had to do my number all the time. Everyone was on top of it. It was like if I was 150, they would be like, oh, you're too high or, you know, like, oh, 70, you're not low yet. Don't take anything. And I felt like I was being controlled by everyone else. And I know now, you know, being older and I'm so thankful that they were all there and they cared. But it was hard at first from going to like you were just a kid to now everyone's like in your space. And I think because of it, the first few years, I was really number focused, like going to the endocrinologist and I would get my A1C. I was like shaking. And I always had actually in Japan, I had the best A1Cs I've ever had. I was always like, I remember being like 6.7 and I was like, oh my God, wow, like this is great. Really number focused. But I noticed that I wasn't as accepting of my diabetes as I want it to be. And I tried to do a lot of things to, you know, really focus on myself and reflect. I was really into music and really all my life, but especially in like my middle school and high school. and I taught myself how to play the guitar and I would lock myself in my room and write really bad songs but I would just get the feelings out and it it kind of would make me think and reflect on you know I don't have to be this this perfect person I have room to grow I want to do new things diabetes doesn't have to be every single thing I think about in every single moment um you know I finally graduated came back went to college I think college was kind of the first time too you know you were juggling classes activities um like obviously being away from home um and I think it kind of gave me more of a personality um being able to tell myself hey like I can go do that it's okay I'll check my blood sugar before but it's okay like if I go a little bit high before I work out I'll come down like kind of telling yourself it's okay and reassuring. And obviously in college shoots, it's that was my most difficult time managing my diabetes, just because you're eating cafeteria food, you don't really know what's in it. My levels were, and you know, as any endocrinologist will tell you in college, your A1C will usually always go up. And that was definitely the case for me. And I kind of, having been so number focused before, kind of beat myself up on it, because I felt like I was trying so hard. Um, and I was thinking to myself, you know, how could, how can I put in so much effort and it not go the way I want? Um, and so that was, that was really hard. And I kind of went back into a time where, you know, I, I mean, I had, I was really lucky. I was got on the Dexcom, I think my junior year of college. Um, and I had, you know, tried other CGMs before that just weren't working for me, but Dexcom has really been great since I got it. And that, you know, once I got the Dexcom junior year, it gave me a little bit more comfort and knowing, you know, I can see when I'm going up, when I'm going down. I wasn't as afraid to give myself insulin, which I think is, you know, that's a whole other topic I could get into. But, you know, slowly over time and the different environments that I was in, how I managed my numbers was different. And, you know, now I've been out of college for a year working. You're definitely in a better schedule. So that's kind of a good thing. But also being at work, I sit all day in an eight to five desk job. So how do you manage that? And how do you work with your endocrinologist to have what's best for you? And I've really now, ever since I started my blog last year, but since I've started it, it's really made me think about, well, what are the things that I'm passionate about? What are the things that identify who I am as a person that's not my diabetes? I want to go spend time on that. And so that's how I've kind of just, I've been a little bit nicer to myself and saying, hey, you know, like this is my life. Like I'm not going to sit here every single day, you know, like, like today, for example, I tested like 260 at work and I was like, you know, I could really beat myself up right now on the bagel I had for breakfast. But instead, I'm just going to correct, kind of go back to my work and, you know, try to do try to be the best at what I want to be at. So I guess that's a kind of my take on it. It just kind of fluctuates with time. But definitely, I think now more than ever, I just learned. It's it's okay. It doesn't have to be perfect. Obviously, you can always work to get you can have goals and get the number you want to get. But don't don't be so hard on yourself.

[00:34:42] Rob Howe: of course yeah i mean i think the self-care self-love is it's a daily battle right and i think it takes years of sometimes years of just self-talk and like being relentlessly positive when i was in college i saw this tweet from john calipari and he's the coach of kentucky basketball and he talked about like relentless positivity and that's one of their like core tenets is that no matter how bad things might seem you are in control of how you feel about it and I think applying that to your self-care as well especially with diabetes like today I also had a rough blood sugar day I started my day off really early and just kind of I've had some weird my Dexcom sensor today uh like has just totally shit the bed and just like wouldn't connect to my phone and my My guardian sensors are all gone right now because a couple of them failed. So just a weird diabetes environment in general. Kind of woke up high, had a weird day, and I was like, you know what? I could stress about this, but I'm just going to not and treat and keep moving forward and just have a good day in spite of it. And, you know, sometimes just being too stubborn to have a bad day is just my best philosophy. And I think, you know, anytime that we can adopt that as type ones, we can make life a little bit easier for ourselves by not being so hard on our because, you know, we're our harshest critic.

[00:36:11] Beatriz Estay: Yeah.

[00:36:12] Rob Howe: A lot of type A type ones out there.

[00:36:15] Beatriz Estay: I would definitely agree with that.

[00:36:17] Rob Howe: Talk to me a little bit before we kind of move on to, you know, looking towards the future. you mentioned being afraid uh early on to give yourself too much insulin talk a little bit about

[00:36:30] Beatriz Estay: that and how technology kind of helps you get over it yeah so um i would say probably like most t1ds uh i've had a few really scary lows um i've i've had i had two in japan where we had to have our apartment concierge help us call 9-1-1 because they don't speak english and that was scary. I mean, I was like unconscious and seizing the whole thing. And, you know, even if, and even if it doesn't even get to that, I think all of us have had a time where we just feel really nervous when our blood sugar goes to what, even if it's 70, sometimes for me, I freak out. And sometimes too, for me, like every low feels different. And I think that's something too, that sometimes people who aren't type 1 don't understand. Um, cause I've had people who will be like, oh, well, you're only 70. And I'm like, I feel like I'm 45. Um, it's just that feeling of, you know, when you're low, it's so indescribable. Um, but at least for me, I got so much, I still get so much, so much anxiety over it. Um, and so the, the Dexcom has really helped because it is so accurate. I've had, I've tried a lot of other CGMs in the past and they just haven't, haven't done it for me. Um, but the Dexcom is great. I think it's so accurate. And, uh, like when the arrows move, if I, if it, if I'm like, if it says I'm one 55 going double down, I will usually, when I test at that moment, I'll be like one 54. Um, so it's, it's really comforting that it's really accurate because you can see exactly when you start taking glucose tablets or apple juice or whatever your low snacks are, you can see the effect right away. And that's, that's really helped me knowing, okay, yes, like it's slowing down. It's like the juice is kicking in, um, and all that stuff. But I would say, you know, especially since I've graduated too, um, you know, on a campus, you're most of the time surrounded by people. So in the event that anything were to happen, um, usually someone would be there. Um, and you know, living, I mean, I live with my boyfriend, but he travels a lot for work, whether like I'm at work or something, um, seeing that number drop, it just completely terrifies me. Um, which in result, like full circle makes me, sometimes I was, I was getting to a point where I would have avoid giving myself the right amount of insulin because I was afraid of dropping. like if I knew I was going to go for a walk later I'd be like oh okay well I can't give myself the full amount because I know I'm going to go for a walk and um I know some people like I know uh Gretchen from type 1 type happy I was like following her whole marathon journey because I'm like that's incredible that someone can run that long without their blood sugar dropping like crazy and it was just so inspiring to me to like see these stories of you know people being really athletic because for me, I run like two miles and I'm like 55. Um, even if I start at like two 15. So I've definitely, I've, so I've now being in St. Louis, I have a new endocrinologist and she is honestly amazing. And I feel like her and the diabetes educator have just been huge, huge resources for me to feel confident and give me, giving myself the right amount of insulin. and kind of encouraging me like, hey, it's okay. Like you have low snacks, you have a Dexcom, like you have all the right tools to protect yourself and be prepared for any type of situation. And it was really that moment where I was like, you know what, they're right. Like I want to have better numbers. It was causing me to kind of be elevated. And I really, it took a lot of me, but I really had to trust, put trust in my doctors and in this app on my phone that it was going to be okay. And I can confidently say in the past like four months, I've, I've definitely seen better numbers just from having that encouragement. But I definitely, you know, and I talk about it sometimes I have a lot of people that DM me like on my blog, and they'll ask me kind of like tips about like what I do in certain situations with diabetes. And it's definitely a real thing like anxiety around lows and how it affects our management. And I just think that fear, I don't think it's talked about enough. And I think so many people are on the same page with it. And so I like to do, you know, as much as I can to the people that do reach out and kind of say, hey, don't worry. Like, sometimes people think I have it put all together, but I don't too.

[00:41:10] Rob Howe: Yeah. And I think that's really important, especially, you know, being more visible and putting out those things. I'm sure Gretchen could talk for an entire couple hours on a podcast about the questions that people ask around fear, around lows, or just fear in general. And I think any decision in your life that you make out of fear is usually a bad one. But also, fear is a real natural response, especially when it comes to diabetes or health-related issues. You need to be conservative, I think, and approach problems like giving too much insulin when you live alone with the respect that they deserve and a natural fear. But also make sure that you make those decisions with all the right information and don't hesitate too much to do things that you want to do and then beat yourself up over those, not making those decisions. I think those type A, type 1s can really benefit from approaching those things pragmatically. Whatever it is you want to do, there is a solution. And I think Gretchen posted even today that her A1C is like 5.5 or something just tremendous. With a marathon training in the last few months, you know, four or five months ago, the New York City Marathon. you know that should be a great encouragement to people who are you know looking to take big risks or or take big challenges on in their everyday life that you can keep those numbers in

[00:42:41] Beatriz Estay: range and do whatever it is that you want to do yeah no and i i mean i completely agree with that and i um you know i think too a huge thing kind of moving the conversation a little bit to social media, um, you know, 10 years ago, I mean, 10 years ago, I don't even think Instagram existed. Um, I think it was a little after that, but you know, the, the amount of people with type 1, um, that have, you know, really taken the step to kind of become, you know, what, you know, people in marketing would say an influencer, um, to really share their story. I think that's been so helpful to so many people. And I know it has been for me. Um, I actually met Gretchen last year at the Type 1 Nation for JDRF in Chicago when I was still living up there for school. And it was so crazy for me to meet someone else in the social media environment who was Type 1 and to kind of meet them in person and say, hey, I've been following your story. I've been following your tips. You give me so much encouragement. I think all of us, even for those of us who do have a blog or do more of social media, I think it's just surprising to know like how much we all encourage each other, especially, you know, like we were talking about before, like we both had bad numbers today, you know, and I think we all have bad moments and sometimes they're not completely exposed. But, you know, knowing that we can follow these other people's stories and know that, you know, well, they're probably, they're obviously going through a lot of the similar things I am and it's just really cool that they can, you know, be a voice.

[00:44:20] Rob Howe: It is. And I think social media has changed so much and I really think has spearheaded this type 1 renaissance that we're in. Because for the first time, people can just reach out from wherever they are and they look at it, search a hashtag or, you know, come up with a favorite account that they like to follow and comment or message. And for the first time, they can have a million, not a million, but a couple thousand type 1 friends really at their fingertips who are willing to have those conversations. And I think it's one of the bright spots in social media in general. And it gives me a lot of hope for where type 1 diabetes is headed, at least in the United States and UK and Australia. Because, you know, those are, I think, the most popular in Canada as well, most popular communities, you know, on social media. And, you know, sometimes it's tough to forget that there are a lot of people who aren't involved with those communities. and they still need the advocacy messages, the basic messages about type 1. And, you know, we got to do a good job of reaching them as well.

[00:45:26] Beatriz Estay: Yeah, no, I totally and I like totally agree. And I think something, too, that I think it's almost sometimes like so you talk about you hear conversations with people who don't have type 1 and you hear them talking about, you know, the whole comparison thing on Instagram or just in social media in general. Like sometimes people do like a social media break because they're, you know, they're seeing all these, they're comparing themselves to other profiles on social media.

[00:45:52] Rob Howe: Right.

[00:45:52] Beatriz Estay: And sometimes it's like too much of one thing. And, you know, I've definitely still had that with my diabetes. Like sometimes I, you know, I like love following all these people, but sometimes I'm like, man, like I'm thinking too much about my diabetes. Like I need a break. I need a little bit more of a mix of things, a mix of encouragement. um and and that's something too that for my blog i mean obviously not everyone that follows all of us has type 1 um so you still want to talk about things that are relatable to those people um but i do try to really make it a balance um i think talking about my type 1 is really important and i think you know especially having it that's a huge opportunity to be an advocate and send that message to people or who maybe are in places where they don't have someone like that near them. But at the same time, I think it's also in our shoes to kind of show people, hey, like I have type 1, but look at all these other things that I'm interested in and things that I can achieve. Because that's, I think that's a huge part of advocacy for type 1 is just also showing people that it's not, having type 1 diabetes doesn't limit you to things that you want to do or to the person you want to be. And that's something that I really try and focus on my blog is just kind of like, hey, here are all the other things I'm doing, like things I like to do with my friends. Like I still like to have some drinks with my friends on a Friday or Saturday night. Still like to go work out. Still like to travel. And but hey, here's I have this little bump along the road, which is type 1 diabetes, but this is how I incorporate it. So that's that's kind of how I approach that, too, is just, you know, focusing on things that I'm really passionate about and then also keeping it real.

[00:47:31] Rob Howe: I love it. and now I kind of this is as we kind of come to our time here I want to ask you the one question I ask everyone okay and I'm excited to hear your answer because I think you'll have a unique perspective because I totally agree with what you're talking about and you really mirror a lot of what I talk about in that I didn't want to be known for having diabetes I didn't want to discuss diabetes all the time I wanted to be my own person in spite of it above it and beyond it and send that message. And I think that's important to still talk about. But if you were in an airport and for whatever reason, the flight that you're going to get on, you can't miss and you're at your gate and they're about to shut the door to your gate, but you run into somebody who's either been recently diagnosed or is struggling with their diabetes. You, Beatrice, in your 10th year with type 1, what's the one thing that you tell that

[00:48:24] Beatriz Estay: person before you jump on your plane? Oh, man. I think I would say two things really fast. The first thing I would just say is you're not alone. I've been there. We've all been there. You're going to make it. And then if I really had to make that plane, I'd say, here's my Instagram. DM me. We'll schedule a call. I'll connect with you. And I'd love to connect

[00:48:52] Rob Howe: more. Yeah. And I think this question obviously is, is sort of clickbaity to try to get as many responses as I can different off the cuff, but you, they fall into different categories, a few general ones. And, you know, one I think is, yes, you, you can do it and to somehow get in contact. And then some people just throw my question completely out the window and say, I'm, I'm just going to miss the flight, uh, which is fine. Uh, again, those type A type ones are going to do it the way they want to do it. But yeah, I think the main thing is like we, we can connect, we can reach out and get, you know, more in the community with, with our friends and become more than just type ones disparately existing. We can become a real community and really help each other through those connections. And I think, you know, Beatrice, I'm really excited that we got to meet. And that that turned into this conversation. And I know it'll become more advocacy for us in the communities throughout the United States and the world going forward. So thanks so much

[00:49:58] Beatriz Estay: for your time and coming on the show. Yeah, thanks so much for having me. Hopefully,

[00:50:02] Rob Howe: I'll make it to Texas sometime soon. Yeah, we'd love to hang out with you and Matt again. And, you know, for our for our listeners now with that community in mind, where's the best place to get in touch with you how do they reach out to you online yeah so the

[00:50:17] Beatriz Estay: best place to find me would be my instagram which is the letter and then underscore b and it's b as in my name beatrice so it's i'll spell it out so it's the letter b so it's t-h-e-l-e-t-t-e-r

[00:50:34] Rob Howe: underscore b-e-a great and we will uh include the link to your profiles in the show notes and then obviously on Instagram when we post this, but for our podcast listeners who just subscribe, definitely get in touch with Beatrice on Instagram. Her content is super great for not only for type 1, but also for other lifestyle blog and ideas and kind of living again above and beyond type 1. Thanks so much again, Beatrice, for coming on the show. It was great to chat with you again, and I cannot wait to publish this episode.

[00:51:05] Beatriz Estay: Thanks so much, Rob.